Skip to main content
GameDev.net gamedev.net
🔒 Locked

source code to windows 2000

Started by a2k Apr 13, 2000 at 10:45 PM 13 replies 1.1k views
Original Post
a2k
a2k
> > /* Source Code to Windows 2000 */ > > > > #include "win31.h" > > #include "win95.h" > > #include "win98.h" > > #include "workst~1.h" > > #include "evenmore.h" > > #include "oldstuff.h" > > #include "billrulz.h" > > #include "monopoly.h" > > #define INSTALL = HARD > > > > char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; > > void main() > > { > > while(!CRASHED) > > { > > display_copyright_message(); > > display_bill_rules_message(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > if (first_time_installation) > > { > > make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); > > search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); > > make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux(); > > disable_Netscape(); > > disable_RealPlayer(); > > disable_Lotus_Products(); > > hang_system(); > > } > > > > write_something(anything); > > display_copyright_message(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > do_some_stuff(); > > > > if (still_not_crashed) > > { > > display_copyright_message(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > basically_run_windows_3.1(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > } > > } > > > > if (detect_cache()) > > disable_cache(); > > > > if (fast_cpu()) > > { > > set_wait_states(lots); > > set_mouse(speed, very_slow); > > set_mouse(action, jumpy); > > set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); > > } > > > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */ > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */ > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */ > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */ > > printf("Welcome to Windows 2000"); > > > > if (system_ok()) > > crash(to_dos_prompt) > > else > > system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); > > > > while(something) > > { > > sleep(5); > > get_user_input(); > > sleep(5); > > act_on_user_input(); > > sleep(5); > > } > > create_general_protection_fault(); > > }ò
------------------General Equation, this is Private Function reporting for duty, sir!a2k
johnhattan
johnhattan
Ya know, I first saw this joke in 1988, and it was making fun of OS/2 1.1.

You''d think that after 11 years, it would''ve gotten funnier.
(my byline from the Gamedev Collection series, which I co-edited) John Hattan has been working steadily in the casual game-space since the TRS-80 days and professionally since 1990. After seeing his small-format games turned down for what turned out to be Tandy's last PC release, he took them independent, eventually releasing them as several discount game-packs through a couple of publishers. The packs are actually
Moe
Moe
i think you missed something in there about random popup errors. not to mention eating up half the hard drive and making it thrash like mad.
Sincipher
Sincipher

How Funny! I sent this to all my coworkers we got such a kick out of this!

***"When I die, don't bury me, Just hook me up to my computer and I will live forever!"***
"When I die, don't bury me, Just hook me up to my computer and I will live forever!"
firahs
firahs
I dont get it

Tha_HoodRat
Tha_HoodRat
firahs , you wouldnt get , you use Macs. Interesting experiment , trying deleting your windows temp folder .(Kids , do not try this at home)

Edited by - Tha_HoodRat on 4/14/00 8:40:08 PM
I was influenced by the Ghetto you ruined.
MENTAL
MENTAL
I must have seen about 5 different varients of this code - OS/2, win 3.1, win 95, win 98 and now win2K. STOP IT!

MENTAL

the only think i like about this code is this:

/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");


bah
ARCHIGAMER
ARCHIGAMER
LOL!!! gotta like it....and its proably true
I wish there was a button on my monitor to turn up the intellegince. Theres a button called 'brightness' but it doesn't work
nes8bit
nes8bit
Even for someone who worships Microsoft, I can say that was pretty good.
abe_bcs
abe_bcs
Cute, but I don''t think MS would use such sensible variable names...
/ // / |< <-
firahs
firahs
yeah you have to use Hungarian Notation like this:

THISISALONGNAMEBUTIDONTCAREBECAUSEYOUAREFORCEDTOPROGRAMFOROUROS

Phantasm
Phantasm
You know, I kinda like that line, "make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();"

It reminds me of a friend of mine who claims that he partitioned his hard drive so he could run Win98 and Linux on the same machine, and it turned out that Linux broke the partition and deleted Windows or something like that. Heh, heh, heh.


P h a n t a s m
"Through dreams I control mankind."
--Legend
Phantasm
Buster
Buster
You forgot:
malloc((int)ALL_THE_MEMORY_YOU_CAN_FIND);
CobraA1
CobraA1
No, no, no, it''s:
malloc((int)ALL_THE_MEMORY_YOU_CAN_FIND + 1);
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away"--Henry David Thoreau

Topic Locked

This topic has been locked by a moderator. New replies are not allowed.

Sign in to reply to this topic.