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Game plot needs critique

Started by Edison Bright Jan 15, 2003 at 3:13 PM 7 replies 1.7k views
Original Post
Edison Bright
Edison Bright
Johnny Dafone is a thirty six years old private detective in a fictional city which is very inspired by Sao Paolo, Brazil. He is still single, and he has started losing his hair. He feels unsecure around women. He is pessimistic, and has problems with finding anything good in life. Whenever he sees a beutifull girl, he starts dreaming about getting married with her, but in the end he is too insecure and shy to make any realization of his dreams. When Dafone is doing one of his standard jobs, observe a young woman for her husband because he believes that she has a affair, he stumble across one of the wierdest cults known to mankind. This woman appears to be involved in a voodoo cult, and Dafone follows her to what appears to be her sacrifaction. When Dafone tries to stop the sacrifice, he is captured and killed by the cult. The rest of the game is spend in the afterlife where Dafone tries to piece together the past of both this young woman (which he of course meets in the afterlife) and solve his own personal problems.
Peace!- Edison Bright
Edison Bright
Edison Bright
Its not exactly his childhood issues. I realize now that it was hard to try to explain the plot to others without spoiling a bunch (for instance, i had to leave out what kind of issues Dafone has to solve about himself) ... back to the writing board!
Peace!- Edison Bright
Monkey Too
Monkey Too
Heh ... Looks real nice

Kofieeeeeeeeeee
Kofieeeeeeeeeee
Furion
Furion
BOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!
Penguin Collective
Penguin Collective
I think the story could be good, but It''s missing something, just can''t put my finger on it. BTW, what type of game is it? I would go with a puzzler in the same vein as Myst (Just not as bad) personally.
AnonymousPosterChild
AnonymousPosterChild
It doesn''t seem to have enough in it to make a game. A movie or miniseries maybe, but not a game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If it wasn''t for C, we''d be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL."
- Albert Einstein
With love, AnonymousPosterChild
EnigmaZ
EnigmaZ
not bad, i think the part about sorting his life out is a bit uninteresting, unless it involves seeking out revenge from beyond the grave to avenge the death of a close friend/family member.

oh and why is he trying to piece together the crazy cult ladys life?

but yea sounds like a good idea


[edited by - EnigmaZ on January 21, 2003 5:47:30 AM]

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