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Pickup lines
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This one requires you to wear really tight trousers.
You go to a bar, and stand around until a girl says:
"How do you get into those trousers"
To which, you reply
"First, my dear, you're going to have to buy me a drink"
[edited by - benjamin bunny on February 18, 2003 8:51:27 PM]
You go to a bar, and stand around until a girl says:
"How do you get into those trousers"
To which, you reply
"First, my dear, you're going to have to buy me a drink"
[edited by - benjamin bunny on February 18, 2003 8:51:27 PM]
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
quote:
Original post by Raymondo
Nice tits
Wow, you''ve sure got class ... bet you get all the women LOL. Anyways, here are some Beavis & Butthead pickup lines, and everyone knows they get all the chicks.
Uh, like let''s drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let''s like get into each other''s life or whatever.
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?
I can make you feel like I''ve never had sex before.
My lips are registered weapons.
I''m not trying to pick you up. You''re like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public.
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
If you ever had sex with a machine, that''s what it''s like with me. ''Cause I''m like a sex machine.
If you''re really hot, I bet I can cool you down.
Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? ''Cause that''s what I''m looking for.
Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it.
You (to her): "I bet I can tell what color panties you''re wearing simply by looking at my watch".
Her: "Ok, try me".
You (looking at watch): "Hmm..It looks like you''re not wearing any panties at all".
Her: "Aha! I *am* wearing panties! They''re [insert color]!"
You: "Well then...looks like my watch is a few minutes ahead".
Her: "Ok, try me".
You (looking at watch): "Hmm..It looks like you''re not wearing any panties at all".
Her: "Aha! I *am* wearing panties! They''re [insert color]!"
You: "Well then...looks like my watch is a few minutes ahead".
HEY BABY, TAKE IT OFF...YEAH, SHAKE IT BABY... YEAH, I''M TALKING TO YOU....SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER...LET ME IN ON SOME OF THAT ACTION...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
And, that is how I got kicked out of the super market. I wonder why I''m single? hmm....
And, that is how I got kicked out of the super market. I wonder why I''m single? hmm....
I don't know exactly what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me, but could we assume that I have said all that? I mean essentially, we've talked about fluid exchange right? So can we just go straight to the sex?
[edited by - Conner McCloud on February 18, 2003 12:43:05 AM]
[edited by - Conner McCloud on February 18, 2003 12:43:05 AM]
True story:
I was out with some friends and one of them wants to ask the waitress out. This is right before Valentine''s Day. He''s all "what should I say?" I go "ask if she''s doing anything Friday night" So she comes over and he askes her and she goes "I don''t have any plans." He looks at me, he looks at her and he starts laughing. She''s all "what the heck?" In a futile attempt to help him out I go "he''s trying to ask you out."
And that is how you fuck up the greatest pickup line of all time. In one question he learned she didn''t have a boyfriend and she was available for a date.
In his defense I didn''t have to suggest he beat his head on the table. He did that all by himself after she walked away. She did however take his number later on when he finally officially asked her out.
Another true story from the vault:
I happened to stop in one night where I worked and there was a really cute girl all the guys I worked with were obviously checking out. So I walked up to them and one of them goes "ask her if she thinks I''m cute." So I walked over to her and asked her. She goes "I think you''re the cutest one here." Later on she gives me her number and after she leaves I erased it.
And that is just one of the many reasons I''m usually single.
The absolute best line that resulted in a date was:
"Me and you are going out."
The last girl I dated I worked with and I gave some BS reason why I should give her my number. I don''t even remember what it was it was so lame. I think it was school related. She made a comment about not dating a manager (which I was) because of company policy and I go, "I wouldn''t mind." Took her minute to realize/recover from what I said and then we ended up dating for awhile. Turns out she had actually wanted me to kiss her a couple nights before but I hadn''t picked up on "the look."
Then there was that night with the three slightly intoxicated rediculously gorgeous sluts who used the line "we want to have sex with you" as I was stopped at a red light in my convertible next to them.
Actually, the most successful line ever is:
"Hi, my name is...what''s yours?"
Cause the thing is, girls for the most part think lines are gay. Especially after they''ve heard them a million times.
The best "line" I''ve ever heard said to me was from a girl who had kind of a crush on me but knew I was dating someone else. She wrote me a note and part of it said
"Don''t tell your girlfriend about this note because she''ll rip my eyes out and then I won''t be able to see how cute you are."
Morbid and sweet all in one sentence. I kinda consider her the one that got away even though we never dated because that sentiment has yet to be topped.
Ben
IcarusIndie.com [ The Labyrinth | DevZone | Indie Mail | Hosting | Tiberian Merchandise | GameShot | Fun With Cutouts ]
I was out with some friends and one of them wants to ask the waitress out. This is right before Valentine''s Day. He''s all "what should I say?" I go "ask if she''s doing anything Friday night" So she comes over and he askes her and she goes "I don''t have any plans." He looks at me, he looks at her and he starts laughing. She''s all "what the heck?" In a futile attempt to help him out I go "he''s trying to ask you out."
And that is how you fuck up the greatest pickup line of all time. In one question he learned she didn''t have a boyfriend and she was available for a date.
In his defense I didn''t have to suggest he beat his head on the table. He did that all by himself after she walked away. She did however take his number later on when he finally officially asked her out.
Another true story from the vault:
I happened to stop in one night where I worked and there was a really cute girl all the guys I worked with were obviously checking out. So I walked up to them and one of them goes "ask her if she thinks I''m cute." So I walked over to her and asked her. She goes "I think you''re the cutest one here." Later on she gives me her number and after she leaves I erased it.
And that is just one of the many reasons I''m usually single.
The absolute best line that resulted in a date was:
"Me and you are going out."
The last girl I dated I worked with and I gave some BS reason why I should give her my number. I don''t even remember what it was it was so lame. I think it was school related. She made a comment about not dating a manager (which I was) because of company policy and I go, "I wouldn''t mind." Took her minute to realize/recover from what I said and then we ended up dating for awhile. Turns out she had actually wanted me to kiss her a couple nights before but I hadn''t picked up on "the look."
Then there was that night with the three slightly intoxicated rediculously gorgeous sluts who used the line "we want to have sex with you" as I was stopped at a red light in my convertible next to them.
Actually, the most successful line ever is:
"Hi, my name is...what''s yours?"
Cause the thing is, girls for the most part think lines are gay. Especially after they''ve heard them a million times.
The best "line" I''ve ever heard said to me was from a girl who had kind of a crush on me but knew I was dating someone else. She wrote me a note and part of it said
"Don''t tell your girlfriend about this note because she''ll rip my eyes out and then I won''t be able to see how cute you are."
Morbid and sweet all in one sentence. I kinda consider her the one that got away even though we never dated because that sentiment has yet to be topped.
Ben
IcarusIndie.com [ The Labyrinth | DevZone | Indie Mail | Hosting | Tiberian Merchandise | GameShot | Fun With Cutouts ]
I lost my shirt, can I borrow yours?
Copyright (C) 2003 By a pack of NAZIS
UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus
Copyright (C) 2003 By a pack of NAZIS
UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus
hey baby, want to take a ride on my russian rocket???
You guys probably heard this one....
YOU--"Hey baby, your feet must be dirty"
SHE--"Why ?"
YOU--"Because you have been running through my mind all day"
There is a song by the Dixie Chicks that goes something like this.....
"Little bit of this, Little bit of that. Come on baby, you know I''m good in the sack"
YOU--"Hey baby, your feet must be dirty"
SHE--"Why ?"
YOU--"Because you have been running through my mind all day"
There is a song by the Dixie Chicks that goes something like this.....
"Little bit of this, Little bit of that. Come on baby, you know I''m good in the sack"
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