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Cultural differences?

Started by Raduprv Apr 29, 2003 at 11:49 PM 13 replies 750+ views
Original Post
Raduprv
Raduprv
I have a questions for americans. I recently moved into the US, and I noticed some.. umm... disturbing(?) things. In Romania it is a custom that when someone (you know) comes into the building/house/room you are, that person is supposed to say "Hi" (or a variant of "Hi"). Similary, when they leave, they are supposed to say "Bye". Today, a friend of my wife came to visit her, for a while, and she treated me like I was completly invisible. She didn''t say "Hi" to me, when she came, she didn''t say "Bye" when she left, and the entire time she was here she talked only with my wife and her parents. Additionally, some guests came to my wife''s parents house, and they also treated me like I was totally invisible. Last year, my wife (which at that time was my GF) came in Romania, to visit me. She came with an aunt, but her aunt had her own buisness here, so we met at the airport, when they both came, and and, 2 weeks later, at the airport, when they left. When she came, her aunt did great me, and we even echanged some words, but when they left, her aunt also treted me (and my father) like I was invisible. So, I was wondering, is this a normal thing, in the US? Or, maybe, I died and I am some sort of ghosts, like in the 6th sense? Height Map Editor | Eternal Lands | Fast User Directory
Xtremehobo
Xtremehobo
quote:
Original post by Raduprv
So, I was wondering, is this a normal thing, in the US?


yup.
Thats us Americans
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I 4M T3H SIGN4TUR3 FR0M H311x0res!

[edited by - Xtremehobo on April 30, 2003 1:02:09 AM]
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OctDev
OctDev
Unfortunately, many people are indeed just rude. Additionally, our society does not necessarily encourage people to keep from being rude. Is this a bad thing? Maybe, maybe not; but it is a difference.

I do find it very rude when people come into your house and do not acknowledge you, or people that you know but that are more directly connected with a friend or spouse do not really acknowledge your presence. Keep in mind how close they are connected to the people around you as well, and how often you have met them. Some people just are not comfortable introducing themselves to others, even if it is a friend of your wife''s coming into the house you share. Also, you may encourage your wife to be the one to introduce someone; here it is often the responsibility of the go between (in this case, your wife) to introduce people, where as in many other countries it is the responsibility of the guest to introduce themselves. I think its lame; if I am not introduced in a timely manner, I''ll introduce myself--but not everyone behaves that way.

When it does come up that someone just seems rude, I have used a variety of ways to deal with it. The two best being:

1.)As said, introduce yourself. You can manipulate this to be irritating if you wish, making you less uncomforatble and them more so. I think its funny to be witty on the surface while knowing you are irritating the hell out of someone who is being rude.

2.)Sometimes, just don''t care (although this is rare).

Anyway, welcome to America.

The Tyr project is here.
Raduprv
Raduprv
quote:
Original post by OctDev
Unfortunately, many people are indeed just rude. Additionally, our society does not necessarily encourage people to keep from being rude. Is this a bad thing? Maybe, maybe not; but it is a difference.

I do find it very rude when people come into your house and do not acknowledge you, or people that you know but that are more directly connected with a friend or spouse do not really acknowledge your presence. Keep in mind how close they are connected to the people around you as well, and how often you have met them. Some people just are not comfortable introducing themselves to others, even if it is a friend of your wife''s coming into the house you share. Also, you may encourage your wife to be the one to introduce someone; here it is often the responsibility of the go between (in this case, your wife) to introduce people, where as in many other countries it is the responsibility of the guest to introduce themselves. I think its lame; if I am not introduced in a timely manner, I''ll introduce myself--but not everyone behaves that way.

When it does come up that someone just seems rude, I have used a variety of ways to deal with it. The two best being:

1.)As said, introduce yourself. You can manipulate this to be irritating if you wish, making you less uncomforatble and them more so. I think its funny to be witty on the surface while knowing you are irritating the hell out of someone who is being rude.

2.)Sometimes, just don''t care (although this is rare).

Anyway, welcome to America.



Thanks

The strange thing is, I do know that friend of hers, and we even talked a few times so far. Otherwise, I would have introduced myself. We did have some small disagreements on some topics, the last time she was here, but I didn''t/don''t think those disagreements would have caused her to hate me that bad. In fact, the last time she came (before today) we actually parted in friendly terms...

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TSwitch
TSwitch
If I care enough, I''ll catch eyes with the guest/stranger and if they don''t give off that "who the hell are you" vibe, I''ll talk to them, briefly.

Most of the time, if it doesn''t involve me, I don''t want to be involved. Too many names to remember, too many people to have to say "Hi" to.

But I''m weird.


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Drevay
Drevay
Yah, it''s considered rude where I live not to say Hi and/or Bye or some form of it.

For example - Sup, and Later suffice.

My mom actually gets mad at me if I don''t say Hi/Bye to someone on the phone/at someone''s house when she''s around, it''s just the way I was brough up.

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Colin Jeanne
Colin Jeanne
I like to be introduced to people when I enter their house (with a friend) or if they enter my house. It seems rude to me if there isn''t that initial introduction when I first enconter someone, but after the first enconter it doesn''t really matter to me if they acknowledge me or not if they don''t concern me at the time.

For example, I like to be introduced to my friend''s parents the first time I go to their houses, but any time after that a greeting from one of their parent''s is optional. It''s appreciated but I don''t think of it as rude if they don''t do it.


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Myopic Rhino
Myopic Rhino
I think this post would have been better if no one replied to it. And if I locked the number of views at zero...
OctDev
OctDev
lol
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Wolfmanyoda
Wolfmanyoda
maybe your wife''s friend wants you!
and she was afraid that speaking to you would make her voice tremble or something, and that your wife would pick up on it because women can just tell these things....

naw...maybe she''s just rude
Peon
Peon
Most people I know say 'Hi' and stuff, like when I'm at school. Hell, I get people saying Hi to me that I don't even know that I know I would imagine it might have more to do with the culture that the person came from, maybe? I live where there are a lot of Asians and Mexicans, and I'm white, and I can definetly seem some differences in what is considered courtesy. Note that while Asian languages and Spanish put a lot of impact on respecting one's elders (I looked into Viet, and OMG, there are sooo many words for other people, especially elders), while English has little emphasis on respect for elders (the language itself) My English teacher said that you can tell a lot about a culture from its language; that's probably true. But I'm just rambling now, don't mind me

[edited by - Peon on April 30, 2003 8:21:00 PM]
Peon
owl
owl
quote:
Original post by Drevay
Yah, it''s considered rude where I live not to say Hi and/or Bye or some form of it.


Here too.
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Voice Of Tango
Voice Of Tango
I thought America was all "have a nice day" to random people you meet in the street.

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