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Depression - rant

Started by SewageWorker Oct 14, 2003 at 3:58 AM 2 replies 250+ views

Original Post

Oct 14, 2003 at 3:58 AM

uh .. here it goes again. My life was just beginning to look good. And now again I''m hurt. just because of something really small. Is this a desease? I mean oversensitivity. It is causing me so much pain. On the other handm I wouldn''t want ot be like many peope that I see. Or maybe I better say animals? I mean well my sensitivity sometimes makes me feel good about myself. I feel like I''m different. I feel stuff that others don''t. I care about others. It makes me feel good against all horrible things that I see all the time. but every now and then ... it makes me angry, I can''t stand being payed out by anyone. Even my close friends ... I think about it for days and it makes me angry so much. I''m just inches away from attacking people. Seeing other people''s misery makes me mad. When I see my friends being made fun off by some ass wipes. I get so angry I''m ready to strangle them to death. And on the other hand I have to think about my reputation. I don''t want to ruin it. I can''t talk to my parents either... I''m just not the type. And I don''t have any ''mature'' friends to talk to either ... so I take it all in. And sometimes I feel like killing myself. I''ve never had these sort of problems. I''m not the kind of person that you would hate. I have many friends ... and a good reputation at my school. It''s just that some people can''t see me as I am. for some reason they keep bothering me. I don''t know if they''rejealouse or what. They just wont leave me alone. I ususally tend to laugh along with them and understand their jokes but today I got totally mad and attacked them ... did some weird stuff. Slammed a head into a table and I couldn''t believe that I did it. I mean ... should I see a phsycologist or something? I don''t trust them. And I''m not retarded or anything ... I''m just ... sort of ... different. please help and if you think why I''m posting this on gameDev. it''s because it''s where I find most of the normal people on the web. other places are full of the freaks that I''m running away from at teh first place. - A sad confused bloke.

Senses777

123

Senses777

Oct 14, 2003 at 4:31 AM

Go see a psychiatrist. I am very serious, it is a good idea and you really should.

How it looks to ME: You think too highly of yourself. You really think you are better than these people? Doesn''t sound like it to me.

You think you are individual? You''re not. There are many people with very simillar problems to you, including feeling like you know or feel something that other people don''t, or that you think certain things that other people wouldn''t.

At the same time you are depressed. You can''t control your life, your situations, you have probably had serious problems in the past that are still affecting how you feel at the present. Everyone has problems, you need to get help, as you CAN''T do it alone. No one can, that is a huge lie told by so many people. "Srive for your best, you can do it if you try hard enough". These are lies. You can''t take everything, and you will need to get help from something or someone at some point.

Wow, I''m ranting. I guess I got cought up in my own life story there.

I have depression, OCD, and some anxiety disorder (the three go together), I take zoloft, and it helps some.

So go to a psychyatrist, they should help. If you don''t like the first, at least try one more before you give up on it.

Good luck, don''t discount yourself, and don''t think too highly of yourself!

Far too much time has passed
For us to lament that we were in love.

doogle

Oct 14, 2003 at 4:54 AM

Sounds like some solid advice, Senses..

ChaoticCanuck

Oct 14, 2003 at 7:51 AM

If you are becoming physically violent who have very few options; that is the sort of thing that tends to escalate if it is not addressed.

With how concerned you are about what other people think I am going to go out on a limb here and assume you are fairly young; as you get older and mature you come to realize that what people are looking for is self-confidence. Many youths attack others emotionally and physically because they lack self-confidence; in an attempt to gain it they attempt to degrade other people.

This can be very hard to deal with, but if you don''t want to seek professional help then you will have to learn to cope with it on your own. To that end I recommend taking on challenges that are unique for your position. Start challenging yourself and make those challenges harder over time. Overcoming realistic goals that you set for yourself will build up real self-confidence and that will give you the foundation you need to shrug off the kind of behaviour you are talking about.

One thing you should also consider; if you see something happening that you think is wrong, then you need to ask yourself "Do I want to do something about this?". If the answer is yes, the next question is "Can I do something about this without endangering myself?". If the answer is no, then find someone who can help you, and then get training so that you can deal with those kinds of situations. If you are really the kind of person who would intervene to protect someone else then you are a rare person, and should develop that. Those people are the ones who become police officers, firemen, soldiers, disaster releif workers and such. They are the best sort of people and should be encouraged to develop that trait instead of having it snuffed out at a young age.

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