Original Post
This is so funny I put some in my signature
quote:Slightly edited from here. So... PI is a cosmological constant and by changing it you can saturate everyone with television. I know it isn't right to sneer at unusual beliefs, but these people also claim that everywhere called Springfield is actually the same place, ipso nomen res ipsa. ********
The Flat Earth Liberation Front Against Television (FELFAT) is an organization determined to fight the evil that has spoiled this once-great world, and to bring humanity back to the ancient utopian state which it deserves. FELFAT does not believe that the Earth is flat. We acknowledge the overwhelming circumstancial evidence that the Earth is currently round. (Actually, we believe the earth to be a perfect sphere unlike many spherists, who believe that the earth is oddly shaped, mostly spherical, but with a bulge around the equator and flattened poles. This is obviously silly. FELFAT however, holds the position that the Earth was formerly, and is naturally, entirely FLAT (and most likely unbounded). The original flat earth was confined, restricted, and twisted into a perverse spherical shape by a conspiracy of TELEVISION BROADCASTERS in an attempt to realize their dream of TOTAL HUMAN MIND CONTROL through subsurviant captive homogonized market share. Before the Earth was enspherized, people could escape television broadcast beams by direct linear travel. This is no longer the case, as television broadcast transmissions encircle the finite globe. The goal was not spherization, but limitation. The most obvious solution, to cut off the remainder of the planet beyond a small fixed inner area, giving a flat, bounded earth with the traditional falling-off-the-edge-of-the-world, would have been too obvious, and would have left too much evidence of the deed. Instead they cut out that same fixed inner area, then wrapped it up into a sphere, and destroyed historical evidence of the flat unbounded earth. The big question of course is how they managed to spherize the Earth. There is some speculation that they somehow managed to tinker with some of the cosmological constants that define our particular universe in such a way as to redefine the world's stable state from flat to spherical. There has been much speculation regarding the destabalizing of the value of PI: on the surface of the earth, treated as a 2d positively curved non-euclidean plane, the value of PI is a function of the size of your circle, rather than a constant. (For example: a very small circle on the surface of the Earth has a value of PI approaching the traditional euclidean-space value, but if you start at the North pole, and enlarge your circle untill it is equivalent to the equator, you can easily see that the value of PI for that circle is exactly 2.) It is not currently understood how one would degenerate the value of PI so as to destabalize a flat plane, but it is a field of intense research.
quote:[edited by - walkingcarcass on May 13, 2004 12:46:39 PM]
from the good ol' flat-earthers The existence of Idaho is a lie, fabricated by a conspiracy of cartographers, as is England. And then there are places such as Narnia, Hy-Brasil, Hell and such whose existence has not been satisfactorily proven.