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Religious Conversion

Started by Bincho Nov 4, 2004 at 3:35 AM 26 replies 3.1k views

Original Post

Nov 4, 2004 at 3:35 AM

So I was lying in bed talking to my girlfriend and the topic of converting a lion to your religion came up because apparently someone was trying to convert a lion to Christianity. Here's a link to an article. Now whether or not that man was insane I've come to conclusion that the easiest way to convert someone to your religion is to explain to them what happens when they die, according to your religion, and then kill them. It's flawless.

doogle

Nov 4, 2004 at 4:33 AM

That's what most people want to do when christians try to convert them. Lions are just the only ones with enough balls to really do something about it.

Bincho

Author

Bincho

Nov 4, 2004 at 4:39 AM

Well, the worst that's going to happen to a lion is a forcefully induced nap. Lions must be intelligent. That's really the only explanation.

polly

Nov 4, 2004 at 4:59 AM

TASTY CHRISTIANS, WE LIONS WISH TO BE CONVERTED.
IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS ON THE ENCLOSURE AND THE SHOUTS OF HEATHEN BYSTANDERS AND CLIMB THE
ENCLOSURE FENCE. WE WILL WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN JAWS ...ER... I MEAN PAWS.

THE LIONS

aegrimonia

Nov 4, 2004 at 5:20 AM

I think the guy probably said something about noah's ark, and that was the lions response to what basically amounts to the guy calling the lion inbred from the two lions that were on the ark.

PumpkinPieman

128

PumpkinPieman

Nov 4, 2004 at 6:17 AM

Sorry for the length

We're spinning round on this ball of hate
There's no parole, there's no great escape
We're sentenced here until the end of days
And then my brother there's a price to pay

We're only human, we were born to die
Without the benefit of reason why
We live for pleasure - to be satisfied
And now it's over there's no place to hide

Why don't you, come down to
It's such a brutal planet
It's such an ugly world
Why won't you, come down to

"This world is such perfection" (What a sight)
"It's just like paradise" (For my eyes)
"A truly grand creation" (What a sight)
"From up here it looks so nice" (For my eyes)

It's such a brutal planet
It's such a living hell
It was a holy garden
That's right where Adam fell
It's where the bite was taken
It's where we chose to sin
It's where we first were naked
This is where our death begins

We took advice from that deceiving snake
He said don't worry it's a piece of cake
And sent us swimming in a burning lake
Now we're abandoned here for heaven's sake

Why don't you, come down to
It's such a brutal planet
It's such an ugly world
Why won't you, come down to

"This world is such perfection" (What a sight)
"It's just like paradise" (For my eyes)
"A truly grand creation" (What a sight)
"From up here it looks so nice" (For my eyes)

Here's where we keep the armies
Here's where we write their names
Here's where the money god is
Here's our famous hall of shame
Here's where we starve the hungry
Here's where we cheat the poor
Here's where we beat the children
Here is where we pay the whore

Why don't you, come down to
It's such a brutal planet
It's such an ugly world
Why won't you, come down to

"This world is such perfection" (What a sight)
"It's just like paradise" (For my eyes)
"A truly grand creation" (What a sight)
"From up here it looks so nice" (For my eyes)

Right here we stoned the prophets
Built idols out of mud
Right here we fed the lions
Christian flesh and Christian blood
Down here is where we hung ya
Upon an ugly cross
Over there we filled the ovens
Right here the holocaust

Eelco

237

Eelco

Nov 4, 2004 at 6:18 AM

im going to have to rate you down for that.

posting lyrics is lame in the first place, but this is just plain ghey.

PumpkinPieman

128

PumpkinPieman

Nov 4, 2004 at 6:22 AM

Quote:
Original post by Eelco
im going to have to rate you down for that.

posting lyrics is lame in the first place, but this is just plain ghey.

It seemed pretty funny to me because I was listening to this song while I started reading the post. Err, which is why I bolded the area that you were supposed to see. :P

fraKtal

Nov 4, 2004 at 9:04 AM

gg Chen.

Zul

156

Zul

Nov 4, 2004 at 9:11 AM

Quote:
Original post by jonpolly99
TASTY CHRISTIANS, WE LIONS WISH TO BE CONVERTED.
IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS ON THE ENCLOSURE AND THE SHOUTS OF HEATHEN BYSTANDERS AND CLIMB THE
ENCLOSURE FENCE. WE WILL WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN JAWS ...ER... I MEAN PAWS.

THE LIONS

Rooflecaek! That's how I wanted to answer this.

Obviously, we now know that lions are Satanic. Will there be a Crusade to purge the world of these evil beasts?

Zahlman

257

Zahlman

Nov 4, 2004 at 9:15 AM

Quote:
Original post by doogle
That's what most people want to do when christians try to convert them. Lions are just the only ones with enough balls to really do something about it.

I punched a Lionist in the face today.

fractoid

$fractoid$

fractoid

Nov 4, 2004 at 9:17 AM

Quote:
Original post by doogle
That's what most people want to do when christians try to convert them. Lions are just the only ones with enough balls to really do something about it.

You realize that from now on, punching people in the face just isn't going to cut it, don't you?

[grin] <-- that's not a friendly smile, he just wants to bite someone

doogle

Nov 4, 2004 at 3:48 PM

So, what... now you want me to lion-bite people in the face?

Saruman

294

Saruman

Nov 4, 2004 at 3:50 PM

Quote:
Original post by doogle
So, what... now you want me to lion-bite people in the face?

Yes++

coldacid

170

coldacid

Nov 4, 2004 at 3:54 PM

Conversion, to or from?

HEATHEN h;CHRISTIAN c;// to CHRISTIANc = (CHRISTIAN)h;// from CHRISTIANh = (HEATHEN)c;

superpig

276

superpig

Nov 4, 2004 at 3:59 PM

Quote:
Original post by doogle
So, what... now you want me to lion-bite people in the face?

Lionize them, perhaps?

23yrold3yrold

187

23yrold3yrold

Nov 4, 2004 at 5:14 PM

Quote:
Original post by coldacid
Conversion, to or from?

*** Source Snippet Removed ***

Teh funnay.

Etnu

108

Etnu

Nov 4, 2004 at 5:36 PM

Isn't converting a lion to Christianity kind of like converting Hitler to Judaism?

23yrold3yrold

187

23yrold3yrold

Nov 4, 2004 at 5:40 PM

Boku San

Nov 4, 2004 at 5:44 PM

Quote:
Original post by Etnu
Isn't converting a lion to Christianity kind of like converting Hitler to Judaism?

So...all lions have Christian parents?

Hitler's parents were Jewish, or am I mistaken (yet again)?

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