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lost the passion

Started by JinJo Jan 4, 2005 at 9:28 AM 22 replies 2.9k views
Original Post
JinJo
JinJo
Hi all, this may seem like a bit of a pointless rant but i was wondering if any of you have experienced simmilar states of mind. Cut it short I think I have lost all passion for creating games. I am at uni doing a CS degree in the second year (direct entry) and missed 2 of the exams already. I go back next week but I can't see what the point is anymore. I need to learn Java before I go back but everytime I sit down to look at a book or code I can't get in the right frame of mind. When I was at college 2 years ago, I loved game programming and was always motivated to do it, all the games I've ever wrote were when I was at college. Soon I thought I'll move onto trying my own 3D Engine and after lots of iterations i came up with a good design, then I left college. I took a gap year (not by choice but it was too late to apply for a uni), i never even worked in a related job or anything. Throughout this year I would always want to finish this engine and it got even more iterations for the design. The thing is when it comes to implementing it I can't get in the mood. There's all the annoying parts of the engine to code and i always try and make everything as efficient and cross platfrom as possible. It's taken me a year to get a cross platform framework working and it still needs lots of work just to allow me to draw triangles in an easy way. Anyway can't see the point in giving these details as they are probably irrelevent but I think now I am just far to into music and want to write that much more than code, However music isnt a guarenteed (almost definately not) career (mind you neither is games) but I find other programming too boring. At the end of the day, do you think this is a passing phase? (doubt it its taken this long), have any of you had simillar experiences? Any recommendations as to how to get back into the game? Sorry for the long and possibly pointless post.
Spintwo
Spintwo
Simple. Just take a break from it! This kinda problem heppens with almost everything. Sports, musical instruments, study, etc! All you need is a break.

After that, you decide you don't like it, then trash all the stuff you've worked on (optional of course).
DigitalChaos
DigitalChaos
Gamus Nomakeus.

Bad disease. It's when you're subconscience is telling you that you need to take a break from creating these 1337 games. But you're brain is telling you that it can't live without 1337 games to make. Therefore, you're subconscience and brain begin to wage war on one another. At this point, you're screwed, because no matter which one wins, you still explode.

Seems you have a mild case of Gamus Nomakeus.

There is no cure. God speed.
Big Sassy
Big Sassy
That's funny. It's been the exact opposite for me. I've been in a band for 8 years making music. I used to adore it, but the constant hussle to get fans out to the shows and spending each weekend playing smokey bars and clubs gets old after a while. Instead of practising my guitar I read books on programming or write an application. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side [smile]
JinJo
JinJo
ha, gameus nomakeus eh? might be it.

Big Sassy strange how there's always someone in the oppisite position.

I think i might just take a break from it, stop stressing about learning any new tecniques or the sort and just go try other things.

I don't know how long a break to take though, I still have the uni course.

I think I might just spend more time on music only at the moment (which is hard 'cos none of my friends think about it the same way I do), see more bands and try and meet musicians.

Moe
Moe
I think my dad once said something along the lines of "If its worth doing then its going to be hard." Stick it out! Take a break though, you don't want to burn yourself out more than you already are.
Ainokea
Ainokea
I hope I never have that problem, the longest time that I went without programming was for like 2 weeks.
______________With the flesh of a cow.
Oluseyi
Oluseyi
Computer Science can be a major bummer, but you don't have to study computer science to make games. Or to write software.

Think about it.
_the_phantom_
_the_phantom_
take a break, a year out if you can, I had a year like that at uni, tried to carry on the next year it just got worse and I failed, huzza!
Access
Access


Jinjo is Samuel L Jackson and Big Sassy is Bruce Willis :) (unbreakable)

Anyway i love both music and games (At the same time) so im quite lucky. I would be unable to tell you which i love more. Anytime i get bored/tired of music, i go code and vice versa.
I also love reading and try to read everyday but i find when i force myself to do it ever so often i get sick. I believe you should try and do something when u feel like it though i accept life cant always work this way.
You might not feel like coding cuz you have to do it not only for yourself but for school as well.

My Advice:
1.) take a break and let it come back in its own time
2.) try and remember why you started coding in the first place (did some game inspire you or something)
it is possible you dont want to code anymore,..if this happens to be the case just do whatever you love doing.

EDIT: just my 2 cents.
disclaimer: i am in no way responsible for destroying anyone's life or ambition through the giving of bad advice. you'll never get me. I have 30 lawyers.
______Yes I think the rev pad sucks/so does 50 and the DS. I like action and am not ashamed. I prefer brunettes but hate chocolate. Yes,I have opinions!!! Rate as you will.
JinJo
JinJo
thanks to all, i appreciate all the advice, i suppose I have to go and fin out if coding is for me, here's a little more just for the sake of it.

The earliest memory i have of wanting to make games was when i was eight years old and i started to design super mario levels on th back of a roll of wallpaper (how sad eh? lol) i just wanted a mario game with every enemy from the 1st game to the 3rd and then eventually super mario world, I tried to create stories to integrate all this.

Anyway even recently on the way down to pick up my little bro from nursery i couldn't stop looking at the sky and thought i would love to be able to implement this into my engine, then i saw the river and thought "wow, imagine this all looking great in a game with the weather etc all correct and dependin where the user was playing and the time etc".

But as much as i would love to do all this sort of stuf i cant get the motivation as it takes alot of stuff to be implemented first and i dont like just using other peoples code.

And by the way, appart from friends and family music is the most important thing in my life now, i never used to be into it 3 years ago but now it can totally change my mood etc.

ah well thanks for all the advice so far!

RipTorn
RipTorn
having something else to keep you going is good.

The last year I really havn't done much game programming at all..
simply because I've had other things to do. Like doing non-game related projects, and such. But most of all because I really got into reading and things like.

But now, ~60 books down the line I'm getting a bit tired of reading, as I can't find any books I enjoy as much as some I've read, so I'm getting back to coding.

I found that when university work was the toughest and took up the most time, is when I had the most enthusiasm for coding, and actually wrote the most code.

it's a cycle.
ballance and all.


Simply:

What you say is completly normal for a person in your position. I'm in the same position and the same thing happens to me.

Perfunction
Perfunction
I start feeling the same way yesturday. I'm gunna have to agree with the other guys though. Try to go out and enjoy life for a while...when you are ready the desire will come back. It feels like ass at first because you still think you want to be on your computer but it really is for the best.
JinJo
JinJo
again thanks for all the advice and oppinions.

to Perfunction, it's not like i've been sitting at the comp programming all this time and thats probably one of the main problems.

I just enjoy going out with my friends too much (which sometimes isnt healthy in ways) and especially when girls get involved, just split up with my gf though and sometimes u cant think straight 'cos of it.

Just tryin to figure out how long to stay off the game prog scene, especially since i just got the book 3d engione programming lol.
nes8bit
nes8bit
Hah. If you couldn't tell by now, I don't personally intend on making games anymore. I do however, intend on owning/investing in entertainment companies in the future. What caused this? Same thing as you... I got tired of being 50 people at once for 20 hours a day.

If you want to go into music then do it. If you want to go into game programming then do it. If you want to do either of those because they seem "stable" then you're looking in the completely wrong direction. There is no such thing as "job stability". Passion is what drives most of these people, not money.

Have you even asked yourself what you want yet?

Anyway, I think you should listen to yourself before you listen to others.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Perfunction
Perfunction
For me I just know when its time to get back into things. There is nothing wrong with socializing. I wish I had done more of it in HS but then again I wouldn't be where I am now. Its a very hard thing to balance and there have been many times when I have consider a career change.

Have you ever considered trying something a little easier? I'm not trying to say you're are newb but I'm a second/third year student there is no way in hell I could build an engine on my own. Hell I barely put together a 2D game engine. Java applets are pretty rewarding if you want to rebuild your interest. You can make shit like pong, breakout, tetris, and pac-man in a matter of days (or weeks) rather than the years it takes to make a 3D game.
JD
JD
You need to ask yourself what is it that you want to do. If it's making games then look for tools already made. If it's making game related tools then that's cool also. You can even combine the two a bit as most companies do. They buy a source code of a successful game and modify it to their liking. You mentioned that you are doing cross platform and that you don't like using other people's code. Do you really need to be cross platform? For example, I do dev on windows and that's ok. Nobody said I can't go cross platform later if I wish to. Yes, there will be more work for me then but I will have a realized project then. Right now I think you might be dealing with too many cards at once and that could spell overload. Also, get used to using other people's code. I use stlport and some other tools and code that I didn't write. They work really well. When I use code I go over it and modify it to suit me. I recommend you try to solve the problem yourself. Then look at how others have solved it because this will enhance your learning and understanding potential. Don't be afraid to use other folk's ideas. We all stand on shoulders of giants. Everyone and every code I looked at used other people's ideas. Compare quake code with genesis3d code and you'll see similarities you weren't aware of before.

One last thing that I want you to think about. One of the requirements of a good programmer is to be able to solve problems. Well, what do you think you have right now? That's right, a problem. So try to solve it. If your existing way doesn't work then change it. I mean stay within programming/game making field and change things around. If it still doesn't work then go into music. Just don't jump the ship when the ship still floats but needs some work.
liquidAir
liquidAir
Take a break from it for like a year or something...
During the year, always visit the GDNet Lounge, and you will find awesome jaw-dropping screenshots...
And then you will be inspired to want to keep making games again :P
(Uh, that's what happened to me)
JinJo
JinJo
cool, cheers.

I had the same sort of idea as nes8bit too and yes doing some easier stuff just now might be better.

I do know what i want though, especially when it comes to music.

I'll just leave the engine programming just now and maybe work on smaller java games when im at uni and focus my free time on music.
Rottbott
Rottbott
It sounds like you have the same problem as me - you want to make a 'perfect' engine which does everything just how you want it. The trouble is, that takes forever, and it's not really as fun as actually making a game. It might help to just say 'screw that' and actually make a game, where the code is as ugly and non-reuseable as you like but the game is good.

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