Nice dinner with your girlfreind : $50

One nice bottle of wine : $100

Asking your girlfreind for a bj while her father is on the other side of the door : Priceless

Quote: Original post by kyokai
Nice dinner with your girlfreind : $50

One nice bottle of wine : $100

Asking your girlfreind for a bj while her father is on the other side of the door : Priceless

Did you mean this?

More or less so

What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he left for school?

Bison!

two fonts walk into a bar,
the bartender says, "Im sorry we don't serve your type in here!"

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre - so he gave her one.

This thread lives on!!

Where do you find a tractor with no wheels?
Exactly where you left it.

Quote: Original post by averisk
From one of my math professors:

A statistician and his friend go hunting. After a few days wandering the forest they come across a deer. The statistician's friend takes a shot at it, but the bullet misses a few feet to the left. After reloading his rifle, he tries again but over compensates and the bullet veers too far right. The statistician stands, slaps his friend on the back and declares "Good job! You got it!"

...

i actually found that one quite amusing :-)

Hmm.. Don't know if it is funny for you guys, coz its local jokes from my country (or so, I believe). Might be inaccurate, but who cares? This is a thread of bad jokes.

JOKE 1

The Police Department, National Army, and the Intelligence Department claim themselves to be the best department among the others in capturing criminals. Hearing this, the government felt the need to test their abilities.

The government decided to test their abilities by releasing a rabbit into the nearby forest, and having the three departments capture it.

The Intelligence Department went in first, they placed informers on every possible angle in the forest. They question every tree, grasses, bushes, and animals in the forest. None of the areas were left un-interrogated. After a month of investigation, the Intelligence Department finally made the conclusion that the rabbit had never existed and that its existence was only a rumor.

Next, came in the National Army. After one month of fruitless effort, they finally lost their patience and burned the whole forest until all living creatures in it got roasted without exception. Finally, they retrieved what seemed to be the black, burnt carcass of what was once a rabbit.

Finally, the Police Department came into the scene. Two hours later, they came back bringing a white mouse with a badly beaten body.
The mouse yelled: "YES YES! I ADMIT IT! I AM A RABBIT! I AM A RABBIT!"



JOKE 2

Three countries (USA, Britain, Developing Country "D") sent out teams of archaeologists to dig out the ancient cities of their respective motherlands.

USA digged for about 1000 m down and found copper wires. USA's president was proud of this, and told the whole world, "Our country's civilisation is the greatest, we've had copper wiring infrastructure 1000 years ago".

Britain digged till 1000 m and found nothing, but they continued until 2000 m and found glass wires. With this finding, Britain boasted to the whole world, "Our motherland is great, we've had fibre optics 2000 years ago".

Developing Country D digged till 1000 m and found nothing, and still found nothing at 2000 m. After 10,000 m of digging and no artifacts found, the president announced to the whole world, "No doubt that our country is definitely the greatest of all, we've already had wireless connection 10,000 years ago".

Not being racist, it's a joke about my country, anyway (referred to as country "D").
Extra: Can anyone guess what country I belong to?

[Edited by - dadads on October 3, 2006 8:55:11 PM]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer!

What do you call a bear with no ear?
A b!

What has a the bottom at the top of it?
A leg!

What's blue and orange?
A blue orange!

<Local Joke>
What do you call the Northern Ireland version of 'Silence of the Lambs'?
Shut up ewes!
</Local Joke>

Sorry