🔒 Locked

The four horsemen have come?

Started by etsuja Jun 29, 2009 at 9:34 PM 165 replies 46.3k views

Original Post

Jun 29, 2009 at 9:34 PM

I've been thinking about how the real famous celebrity deaths over the past week, and have been thinking they may have been the four horsemen of the apocalypse. As most of us know, not everything in the Bible can be taken in a literal context. Here's my reasoning. In early times, having a horse was a great symbol of wealth. In this way, the four "horsemen" can be related to those who are very wealthy, instead of actual guys riding horses. The color of the horses represent how their wealth was obtained. The riders also have a few other things associated with them, like bows, swords, etc... Here's how I relate Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Micheal Jackson, and Billy Mays to the four horsemen. The first of the horseman is Ed McMahon(aka Conquest) since he served in the military. He carries a bow, which could represent his role as a pitchman/salesman. His crown could represent coming from a well off family. He rides a white horse(wealth), since he was a comedian, which could be associated with light heartedness, and white. The second horseman to appear is Farrah Fawcett(aka War) since she had a long battle with cancer. She has a sword which could represent her cancer, that has killed millions. She has the power to take peace from the earth and make men slay each other. Being a beautiful woman, it's apparent she has the power to do this. She rides a red horse(wealth) since her wealth came from primarily being sexy, which can be associated with red. The third horseman is Michael Jackson(aka Famine), since he could be viewed as being very hungry for fame, wealth, acceptance, etc. He carries a pair of scales in his hand, which could represent him being pretty much black, and white. He rides a black horse, since a great source of his wealth was from the best ever selling album Thriller, which can be associated with black. The fourth horseman is Billy Mays(aka Death), since he was a very energetic man who died suddenly. He rides the sickly, unnatural, pale horse, since he made his wealth selling unnatural chemicals. Is Hades coming soon? What do you think, sound possible?

awefdbgb

Jun 29, 2009 at 9:40 PM

If this was an episode of Battlestar Galactica, then I would probably have entertained the thought. But somehow I don't think real life prophecies should require such abstract thought.

LessBread

Jun 29, 2009 at 9:43 PM

[lol] Seriously? [lol][lol][lol]

etsuja

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:17 PM

It doesn't come as a surprise that this is met with laughs, in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if any religious subject on here is met with laughs. Apparently, I came to the wrong place to share my ideas.

Do you guys care to be a little more constructive with your responses though? I kinda expected more than just responses of "lol" from here.

cowsarenotevil

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:24 PM

I just don't think the associations work out cleanly, at all. "Sickly, unnatural, pale" for instance is a bit of a stretch to connect to Billy Mays. Michael Jackson, on the other hand, seems like he could be tied to that horse's description, but that's about it as far as "death" goes.

I don't think that any of the people fit particularly well with any of the figures, much less all four of them existing in a one-to-one onto correspondence.

ChaosEngine

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:25 PM

Quote:
Original post by etsuja
As most of us know, nothing in the Bible can be taken in a literal context.

fixed for you. [grin]

Honestly, do you really believe this stuff? I get that people believe in gods. I don't agree with it, but I understand it. But revelations, the antichrist, the four horsemen and so on?

Even if you did believe in all that, you seem to be really stretching your interpretation to fit the theory.

Hodgman

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:26 PM

Quote:
Original post by etsuja
Do you guys care to be a little more constructive with your responses though? I kinda expected more than just responses of "lol" from here.

Seriously? The 4 horsemen manifested as the untimely deaths of 4 American pop-culture icons?

You seem to have interpreted the signs in order to make it fit the circumstances, instead of theologically interpreting the signs in isolation and then finding circumstances which fit the discovered symbolism.

Why American pop culture? Why not French, or Palestinian, or Jewish pop culture?
Why pop culture? Why not theologians, or philosophers, or philanthropists?

Promit

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:29 PM

Quote:
Original post by Hodgman
Quote:
Original post by etsuja
Do you guys care to be a little more constructive with your responses though? I kinda expected more than just responses of "lol" from here.
Seriously?

Quoted for emphasis. We give insane theories exactly as much serious thought as they deserve, which is to say none at all.

Tell you what, try Yahoo Answers. They're better at this sort of thing. As far as this site, you should probably stick to coding so that we don't laugh even harder.

Kaze

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:33 PM

now anytime the four horsemen are mentioned I'm going to imagine the last one carrying a bucket of oxiclean

LessBread

Jun 29, 2009 at 10:38 PM

Quote:
Original post by etsuja
It doesn't come as a surprise that this is met with laughs, in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if any religious subject on here is met with laughs. Apparently, I came to the wrong place to share my ideas.

Do you guys care to be a little more constructive with your responses though? I kinda expected more than just responses of "lol" from here.

Ed McMahon as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse? Sorry, but that deserves a big lol.

You want a constructive response, ok. Try looking at the book of revelation as a first century discourse on the destruction of the interior world of a traumatized individual and not as a prophecy about the destruction of the earth.

instinKt

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:18 PM

If you look hard enough for something you can find it anywhere.

This is how Psychics and Fortune tellers work. Hell even horoscopes. Bend and stretch and make outlandish links to fit some vague description.

If I really wanted I could make a link to the Four Horsemen to a group of cars I walked past on the way to work this morning going by colours, brands, driver, style of driving.

In other words, LOL.

etsuja

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:25 PM

I see thinking outside the box isn't taken kindly here.

ChaosEngine

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:30 PM

Quote:
Original post by etsuja
I see thinking outside the box isn't taken kindly here.

Depends on the box. In your case the box is clearly marked "things that are sane" and thinking outside it is treated with all the respect it deserves.

LockePick

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:40 PM

Quote:
Original post by etsuja
I see thinking outside the box isn't taken kindly here.

I see you're oh so good at taking kindly to criticism.

But okay, okay, I'll bite. Let's assume you are correct and these pop-icons are in fact the four horsemen. What would be your opinion on why god would choose four pop-icons for those roles? Why would he hide such an important event under the guise of ridiculous celebrities who most people mock and/or pity? Why would he signal the apocalypse in a way that people (as we've clearly seen here) think is utterly ludicrous?

I mean, he's going to end the world. What's the point in being so subtle no one even notices?

Also, how come nothing noteworthy has happened since their deaths? Weren't they supposed to be of the apocalypse?

Codeka

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:47 PM

Now, I'm no Christian, so I may be missing something here, but if they were the four horsemen, doesn't that mean we should be experiencing the end of the world right about now?

Hodgman

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:49 PM

Quote:
Original post by etsuja
I see thinking outside the box isn't taken kindly here.

Hey, I bit. I asked some questions about the "out-of-box theory".

What's the reasoning as to why God would choose to warn of of the impending apocalypse via American pop culture icons? Do you suppose he's sent similar warning to Chinese citizens via killing off some of their pop-culture icons as well? If so, we should be able to look for these trends, and if not, then God really does bless America!

bardbarienne

Jun 29, 2009 at 11:54 PM

Quote:
I see thinking outside the box isn't taken kindly here.

Well, it's creative... you might be able to make a story out of it, as long as you rename the Horsemen. Sex (Farrah), Volume (Billy), Humor (Ed), and Equippable Face (Michael). After all, those were their roles in pop culture...

In any event, you asked if it seemed possible and you got a resounding "no." Shouldn't you be relieved? Life will continue! Hell is a thing in your mind; rest easy. Or totally flip out, depending on how you take it.

LessBread

Jun 30, 2009 at 12:07 AM

Quote:
Original post by LockePick
What would be your opinion on why god would choose four pop-icons for those roles?

North American pop icons for that matter. The only global icon of those four is Michael Jackson. Farah Fawcett's death got some play in the UK, but beyond the Anglophone world? I doubt it.

Look's like Hodgman beat me to the point.

Cygon

Jun 30, 2009 at 12:36 AM

Ah, the old "you don't think outside the box" defense. Noone wants to be a conformist, after all. But sometimes the number of people I see following some outlandish idea, be it psychics, consipracy theorists or theologists, make me believe that adhering to proven facts should rather be considered thinking outside the box these days :)

Where does it say that the bible has to be wildly interpreted and linked to random things? Maybe because you're running out of facts?

And why is it always the apocalypse, the end of the world? I think the next major due date is 2012 when the Mayan calendar runs out or so. And then it'll probably moved to 2014 or something. Can't people prophesize about a day polluted air suddenly turns into marshmallows and starts raining down onto my lawn? I mean, come on, it's just as likely and much nicer for everyone!

-

If I may quote Stephen F. Roberts,
"I contend we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Awoken

Jun 30, 2009 at 12:39 AM

Hey I like your thinking etsuja, what is interesting is the stories and wisdom that people valued back in the day. Especially to think that today what is recorded in a book was verbal tradition for most, expect a few, people of the ancient world. Their language was limited and their perspective lacked the knowledge we value today. Today, it's very easy for the uneducated (please don't take this as offensive, I'm simply making this remark as in lacking an education about the early church, i.e more than one book: not to imply stupid, dumb, dim witted or lacking the ability to think outside of the box.) to view its interpretation for wisdom as unnecessary. We're in a sense "time trapped", and this is to be expected. (I would also say culture trapped, You can experience this "time trap" in most developing countries)

I too enjoy seeing the wisdom of those years being applied today. By applying these stories to our modern world, you're helping repeat those traditions. I think this is important to help keep that tradition alive.

And what is interesting, is the world of the ancients was just like ours, and in many ways, they saw a different greener pasture on the other side of the fence. They didn’t have cars, TV’s, vacations in France one year, china the next. They didn’t have Hubble space telescopes, physics, chemistry, psychology, satellites, telephones, computers, internet, medicine, garbage cans, scissors, pencils, pens, plastic bags, grocery stores, refrigerators, paper airplanes, compasses, steel, remote controls, headphones, linoleum, concrete, lasers, slurpees or books. I enjoy thinking about what they valued, and what brought a piece of peace into their lives. It would be a shame if that was lost.

Topic Locked

This topic has been locked by a moderator. New replies are not allowed.