Terms & Conditions

You must read and agree to the terms and conditions set out in this document before continuing to peruse this journal.

PREAMBLE

This document describes the responsibilities of the reader whilst simultaneously absolving the journal author of any responsibilities at all. For the remainder of this document the reader shall be referred to as "villainous scum" whilst the journal author shall be referred to as "all-powerful being".

TERMS & CONDITIONS

1. The all-powerful being reserves the right to present lies as facts and pass off other people's hard work as his own.

2. The villainous scum shall never question the opinions of the all-powerful being.

3. The villainous scum shall not hesitate to help the all-powerful being, while remembering at all times their inherent inferiority to him.

By entering into this contract you promise that:

4. You will not copy, imitate nor think about the ideas you read about here.

5. You will wear yellow socks every third Tuesday of the month.

I, being a spineless, cowardly jelly, accept the terms and conditions set out above without question and with little regard for how demeaning they are.

I do not accept the terms and conditions set out above, and furthermore should I ever find the author of this document I will not hesitate to slap him with the first fish that comes to hand, be it cod, haddock or trout.