LOVE?!?! umm

Age: 22
Sex: Male
Are you married? No
I believe I will only marry once? Yes
Love is an essential part of your life? No
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes
I believe in destiny? No
You only fall in love once in your life? No
Have you ever been in love? Yes

What does love mean to you? (Define love in your own words)
Compatibility. Committment. Compassion. Trust.

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?
"Falling in love" is romantic silliness, and the root cause of much marital discord in modern society. Decide to love someone, don't "fall" into and out of love depending on the color of their hair, the shape of their body and so forth. Meet people, find out who they are, determine compatibility, make a committment. Given time, "love" (in the emotional sense) will come because Love (the rational, conscious part) is already there.

[Edit: Formatting.]

[edited by - Oluseyi on October 21, 2002 11:34:33 AM]

Age 18
Sex Yes please (Yeah, yeah, I copied it from Austin Powers) Male

Are you married? No
I believe I will only marry once? Yes
Love is an essential part of your life? Yes
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes
I believe in destiny? Yes
You only fall in love once in your life? No
Have you ever been in love? Yes (or what I belive to be love)

What does love mean to you?
Love must be the sole reason for living in some deeper form or something (yes, it sounds cliché, but maybe there''s a reason for it)

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?
Well, I actulay don''t know. And I don''t know if what I felt really is love at all. But I guess it''s when your feelings come in the way of seeing clearly. And as I got VERY nervous around this girl, which pretty much sucks when you get nervous around someone you love because then you''ll like me look stupid which isn''t good

/MindWipe

Age.... 26
Sex.... female

Are you married? Yes, 6 years in December
I believe I will only marry once? Yes
Love is an essential part of your life? Yes
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes
I believe in destiny? Yes
You only fall in love once in your life? No, depends on how you define it.
Have you ever been in love? Yes

What does love mean to you? (Define love in your own words)....

Love is a commitment. There''s different types of it. The Greeks were really good at naming these differences. They had philos, the "brotherly" kind, "eros", the "sexual" kind, and "agape", the "unconditional" kind, and probably a few others.

The thing that holds marriage together is the agape kind of commitment. Eros is great fun, but as you get older, change, etc, it''s agape that''s going to keep things going. Teenage hormones aren''t going to be there forever. What is there, is the commitment you''ve made to stay with the person, richer or poorer, sickness and health, as long as you both shall live. The jump your heart does when you see that cute boy down the hall is an eros thing, it''s not lasting. The feeling of security, friendship, common bond, trust, and shared commitment you feel looking at your husband of 30 years is real agape, and to me, that''s real love.

Of course this agape extends to children, and even close friends at times... though with your spouse there will always be an eros component that the other relationships don''t have... or at least shouldn''t.

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?....

Well, you know, I used to thing it was butterflies and such. But to be honest, butterflies and nervousness gets old. I think I like the feeling of friendship, trust, and commitment a lot better. It''s not that I don''t still get sparks with my husband, I do... but it''s not the fluttery, nervous, semi-panicked "ohmygoshhelookedatmewhatdoido?!" that so many people equate early on... then get upset when it fades.

I think that if you want it to fade, you need to really search yourself and see if there''s something more than the flutters and sparks... are you willing to stick with that person if they''re dying of cancer? Do you have things in common that will hold you together and keep you close after the dating is over? The big one... are you planning to try to change that person? If so you might want to reconsider. Too many divorces start with "well, if we get married he''ll stop ____" If he hasn''t stopped whatever it is in the courting period when he''s still trying to win you over, he''s not going to once you''re "caught".

Feel free to swap genders on any of the advice portions, mine deal with guys because I''m female, obviously, but they should be true for either gender.

-fel

Age 18
Sex M

Are you married? No
I believe I will only marry once? Yes
Love is an essential part of your life? Yes
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes
I believe in destiny? Yes
You only fall in love once in your life? Right now, I think yes
Have you ever been in love? Yes, currently...

What does love mean to you? (Define love in your own words)
Same as Oluseyi, but also based on past and present experience, confusion and pain

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?
I don''t know how you would define how you know, it''s just something I knew... I too get nervous, but at the same time she means more to me than anybody else I know. There is nothing I would not do for her. I think thats how you know.

---

If at first you don''t succeed, call it version 1.0

SketchSoft | SketchNews

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23
Male

You can parse this one straight in :-)
NNYYNNY

Something i can''t define, only feel.

Age 18
Sex Male

Are you married? No
I believe I will only marry once? Yes
Love is an essential part of your life? Yes
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes
I believe in destiny? I don''t know. In some ways, perhaps. But there is always choice, above everything.
You only fall in love once in your life? I do not know.
Have you ever been in love? Yes

What does love mean to you? (Define love in your own words)....
All definitions are limiting. You cannot define love or categorize it that easily. All people are unique, therefore all relationships are unique.


How do you know if you fall in love with someone?....
Good question. I don''t know. Perhaps it is when you lose yourself and decide that another is more important than you (therefore, IMHO, finding yourself). Then again, that description is too limiting, and it''s more than that even for me, and it may be completely different for another person. I do not presume to know.

-----
Jonas Kyratzes - progressive game design & development
Press ALT + F4 to see the special admin page.

joke: I''m to young for that crap

RuneMaster: I saw the adminpage // jk

Age....25
Sex....Male

Are you married? No
I believe I will only marry once? No, I will not marry.
Love is an essential part of your life? No
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes
I believe in destiny? No
You only fall in love once in your life? No
Have you ever been in love? No

What does love mean to you?
Not much now, as I''ve never experienced it. As I understand it it is a feeling that is most based on other feelings. You fall in and out of love depending on how much of those other feelings change.

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?
I don''t believe most people really know. I have a friend who recently bought a ring for a girl he has had a relationship with for a few months. The same day he was going to show it to her was the same day they discovered they had trust issues. Now they''re just "friends."

But as I said above, it is based on feelings. If you''re comfortable with someone, if you feel you know someone, if the other person makes you happy, that''s a good start. Love can not be analyzed because the feelings people associate with it vary from person to person. If you are insecure by nature and the person you are with makes you feel comfortable then you will also be happier and will have a higher tendency to love the person.

This may be analyzing it a bit too much but that''s what I like to do. Still, that doesn''t cover anything of what love could be. A love that''s 50 years old is much more significant than a love that''s 10 years old, even if some of the other feelings have "lessened." By the time you''re 100, all that will really matter is that you''re together.


(Damn, no heart icon.)

You know, GameCreator, I used to think that too.

Then I got out of the small farming community and found that there were guys out there I could actually hold an intelligent conversation with. *grin*

Keep an open mind.

-fel

Age: 20
Sex: Male

Are you married? No
I believe I will only marry once? I dunno
Love is an essential part of your life? No
Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Actually, its a complex chemical reaction
I believe in destiny? No
You only fall in love once in your life? No
Have you ever been in love? Sort of, more of an infatuation

What does love mean to you? (Define love in your own words)....
A complex chemical reaction that may or may not lead to sex.

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?....
You don''t fall in love, love is a chemical reaction.

Age.... 22
Sex.... Female

Are you married? No

I believe I will only marry once? No

Love is an essential part of your life? Yes!

Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? No, Well, it''s more like a psychology equation plus a complex chemical reaction, but it''s not anything mystical.

I believe in destiny? No

You only fall in love once in your life? Definitely not, I''ve fallen in love 3 times now. It''s more like you fall in love about every other year.

Have you ever been in love? Yes

What does love mean to you? (Define love in your own words)....
Well you can only fall in love with someone you empathize with, I think. When you''re near the object of your affections you feel like the sun is shining on you and you''ve had too much caffine, plus that giggly feeling you get from staying up too late at a slumber party. Except of course for attacks of desperate misery when you remember you can''t have them, or when they''re suffering and you can''t help them. I personally have a strong maternal instinct, and the feeling of being in love with somebody is qualitatively similar to the rush of extreme cuteness I experience seeing a cooing baby or a toddler building a block castle, which suggests to me that in both cases my brain is drugging me with lots of hormones, but i''m okay with that.

How do you know if you fall in love with someone?....
Waves of sympathy, especially directed toward a person who isn''t otherwise very likeable or nice.
Similarly, the feeling that you would put up with any ill treatment from that person just to have them paying attention to you, and you would go miles out of your way to make them smile.
Irrational impulses to cheer, cry, stalk the object of your affections, create poetry/songs/art to celebrate the sheer wonderfulness of the object of your affections.
Elevated heart and breathing rate just by thinking about that person for a few minutes.

[joke]
Hey sunandshadow, we share several similar veiws. Wanna hook up sometime?

Oh dear god I just hit on a moderator.
[/joke]

Sunandshadow, I do not mean to offend you, but to me what you''re describing sounds an awful lot like a crush, and not love.

-----
Jonas Kyratzes - progressive game design & development
Press ALT + F4 to see the special admin page.

quote:

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Original post by runemaster
Sunandshadow, I do not mean to offend you , but to me what you''re describing sounds an awful lot like a crush, and not love.

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Well yes, since the survey questions mentioned marriage I assumed the type of love under discussion was Eros, which to my mind must begin with attraction, preferably the intense kind referred to as a crush. I''ve found through personal experience that if you feel all the other kinds of love for a person, but not eros, you have a best friend, not a beloved. I adore my best friend and I could definitely use one or two more such friends, but I tried sleeping with him and it just didn''t work, simply because his personality is not one I find romantic/arousing. Oh, and I''m not offended btw.



[joke]
AnonymousPosterChid, hitting on a moderator?!? TSK!
Where''s my moderatorial lightning bolt, this calls for some serious smiting!

On a more practical note, how do you propose to test for chemical reations over a digital interface and an international border?
[/joke]

quote:

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[joke]
AnonymousPosterChid, hitting on a moderator?!? TSK!
Where''s my moderatorial lightning bolt, this calls for some serious smiting!

On a more practical note, how do you propose to test for chemical reations over a digital interface and an international border?
[/joke]

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Well, I do have a passport. That solves the border issue, but can you send me a couple of bucks for bus fare?

AnonymousPosterChild!
Black_mage_s in disguise!

OMG LOL!

---------------------------------------------
"Love is a disease"

Age: 30
Sex: Male

Are you married? Yes

I believe I will only marry once? Yes

Love is an essential part of your life? Yes

Love is more than a simple chemical reaction? Yes

I believe in destiny? Yes

You only fall in love once in your life? No, as you can love many people. You love your parents, you love your siblings, you love your spouse, you love your kids, etc.

Have you ever been in love? Yes

What does love mean to you?

That''s hard to say without sounding like a teenager with a crush on somebody. Instead, I can tell you how I feel now, with the full confidence that I am definately in love with my wife.

I wish I could relate the entire story of how I met my wife (it''s funny and cute, but if you''re anywhere under 27, you''d think it was goofy). I can say we had love at first sight and that destiny had its hand in our relationship. Let''s just say that I had a ''sign'' that she was the one.

Love is something that changes the way you think, feel, and act. My love for my wife and family is very strong. I would die for any of them, and I would definately kill for them.

Love would make me do something I wouldn''t normally do. I can''t lie to my wife, and no matter how important something is that I''m doing, it can be put on hold for my wife and kids without a second thought. I can tell my wife anything and not worry about being ridiculed or laughed at; I can depend on her support. I could be on the verge of smashing somebody''s face in, and with a single word from her, I could relax. Nothing is more important to me then my wife and kids.

There''s not a day that goes by that I don''t stop thinking about my wife and kids. From the day we met (my wife and I) to the day I die, I know for sure she would be on my mind. Life would be quiet and lonely without all three of them. You young kids here won''t realize this until you''re older, so take my word on it - you''ll appreciate life more when you have others to share it with.

So, love is really not a single emotion to me. Love is a mix of lust, tenderness, caring, anger, fear, and dedication - all rolled into one.

Related question: is there anyone here who hates (rationally) love? I find it obvious that love is a bad thing (useless dependance; I''d be a much better person without it), but I rarely find anyone who shares my views...

Love is like a drug addiction. Sure, you feel better when you take it, but in the long run, you''d be much better if you were not addicted.

Cédric

quote:

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Well, I do have a passport. That solves the border issue, but can you send me a couple of bucks for bus fare?

AnonymousPosterChild!
Black_mage_s in disguise!

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Alas, I am something of a starving artist at the moment. (swoon! ) Not starving literally, of course, as I am quite a talented mooch, but quite incomeless. Maybe when I manage to finish and sell my book (and believe me, all of gamedev will hear about it (loudly!) when it happens!)