Computer/Programming Jokes

Here''s some more:

"The Meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation."
-- Lew Mammel, Jr.

(not really a joke, but funny as an inside joke)

And how about a math one:

"For a good Prime, call:
29819592777931214269172453467810429868925511217482600306406141434158089."
-- Zachary Kessin

And a science one:

"In relativity theory space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings."

quote:

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Original post by Tron3k
Here''s one to start you off:

"A computer scientist is someone who, when told to ''Go To Hell'', sees the ''Go To'', rather than the destination, as harmful."
-- Dr. Roger M. Firestone

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Hah, hahahaha, hahahahahha that is GREAT

Not quite "jokes", but for a good laugh, spend a few hours here ...

PS: I know those quotes from here, which is also where I got my current sig from ...

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
-- Butch Hancock

[edited by - 23yrold3yrold on November 22, 2003 10:20:32 PM]

quote:

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Original post by 23yrold3yrold
Not quite "jokes", but for a good laugh, spend a few hours here ...

PS: I know those quotes from here, which is also where I got my current sig from ...

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What a coincidence! I was reading the same page. And I wanted to post all those religion ones for your reading pleasure, but I guess I am to be denied.

quote:

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Original post by 23yrold3yrold
Not quite "jokes", but for a good laugh, spend a few hours here ...

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I like the book-a-minute, and movie-a-minutes

-=Lohrno

quote:

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Original post by Tron3k
Here''s some more:

"The Meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation."
-- Lew Mammel, Jr.

(not really a joke, but funny as an inside joke)

And how about a math one:

"For a good Prime, call:
29819592777931214269172453467810429868925511217482600306406141434158089."
-- Zachary Kessin

And a science one:

"In relativity theory space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings."

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How can you tell if a number is prime?

quote:

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Original post by Samith
How can you tell if a number is prime?

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You can''t [easily]. That''s what makes several common encryption schemes so powerful.

Why do pirates navigate using polar coordinates? So they can differentiate with respect to RRrrrr.

I have to admit to taking some external inspiration for that one:
"R-squared d-R? R-D-R-R, Bart? R-D-R-R?"

If you need a source, you don''t deserve one.

CM

da/dt == jerk

A truck driver walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets a whiff of him and says "We don't serve computer nerds around here, and you smell pretty nerdy! I don't think you belong here." The truck driver says "No, I'm a truck driver. I only smell nerdy because I'm hauling a load of computers." The bartender says "Well, you should be careful. Nerds are in season, and it's okay to shoot them on sight. Here, watch..." The bartender reaches under the bar and pulls out a shotgun and starts unloading into a group of skinny nerds sporting pocket protectors and TI-85s huddled in the back of the bar. The truck driver thanks him for his advice and leaves the bar.

As he is driving down the highway, he hits a bump. The trailer of his truck flies open and starts spilling his load of computers all over the highway. Sure enough, a crowd of nerds emerge from the bushes and start pilfering the computers for parts. The truck driver remembers what the bartender said, and doesn't want the nerds to make off with his whole shipment, so he reaches into the cab of his truck, pulls out a baseball bat and starts bashing their nerdy skulls in.

Just then a state trooper pulls up and sees the truck driver standing in the middle of a pile of computer parts, with bloody nerds strewn about. "What the hell are you doing!" he yells. The truck driver stammers, "I thought that nerds were in season." "Yeah, but you're not allowed to bait them!"

[edited by - the_dannobot on November 23, 2003 1:05:33 AM]

congrats the_dannobot, that was the worst fucking joke ever.