Hi there!

Usually I don't whine about stuff, because somehow I'm able to fix and take care of most of the problems my self. But for now I'm a bit lost.

I'm almost 25 and I work as a web developer and in my free time, apart from going out and playing games, I also program and jump from different topics this including game dev, os dev, embedded and web.

I live good. I have a job that I do not hate most of the time, I have a place to live, I have a loving family and I don't lack the attention of friends. (I'm missing a girl though but not sure it bothers me too much as the topic in this thread).

One quality of my personality is that I don't like to depend too much on other people. Therefore I try to be as independent as possible in every aspect of my life. I got my own car only because I did not want to be depended on the mood of my father and letting him decide if I can take his car today or not. I moved to my own place, just be able to live at my own schedule other than sharing it with my family. And more and more less "big" things. Of course I can not be 100% independent in every aspect of my life, but I try to minimize those aspects.

Some might say its good, others think its bad. I don't care, that's not the point. It works for me and not necessarily will work for anyone else.

One thing that bothers me for now, is the dependency that I have at my job. Of course being an employee, means that you have someone who manages you, your responsibilities, your time. I don't like that. As I said, I want to be independent. Therefore for a long time I created a vision that I, as a Man, should be my own employer. I should be my own boss. Manage myself.

But when I take shower, I don't get great ideas. I'm sort of lacking creativity. Hence, I can not find my niche. I'm lacking motivation.

At first I though to start an embedded business in home automation industry. I bought a lot of electronics stuff, sensors. Read a lot of datasheets, tutorials. Created ideas for how I would like to have my home, and started to dream of me creating a production line of home automation hardware and software for masses. But by the day my packages arrived, and taking in account that some packages got lost and never arrived, I lost my interest and motivation in this field.

And then I opened my github, and saw the code I was doing 3-4 years ago in game development. Now when indies have easier access to their customers and investors (kickstarter, indiegogo, steam and more), I though to my self, that all I need is a simple, fun game, with clean revenue of 10$ per copy and 100,000 copies, and Ill reach a goal of 1M$ (the dream that everyone have). From there I can setup a small studio and do what I really like to do for the rest of my life.

But usually, I jump from topic to topic and take things out of proportion. Hence I believe that soon Ill loose the interest in that as well, because I'm too young, inexperienced and think the world is pink, and my "awesome" plan is not that easy or awesome.

I just want to find something I'm good at, something I like, and something I can make money of.

But I don't know what I like. Today I like game dev, tomorrow it can be os dev, next month is web dev and etc.

I'm lost. I want to be self employed. I want it for more than 6-7 years, but nothing happens. Usually I'm able to fix my problems myself. But not this time. This time I'm lost and I'd like to ask for advice.

Thanks!

General life chosing questions are probably hard to answer,

As to myself i got different life plan it would be more like

get more and more skills and knowledge then you will be able

to create something (not neccessary to get some money from

that but maybe) than maybe also you will be able to negotiate

with your boss not to work 160 hours all time tired a month but

say 100 or 80 to get a life little more relaxed (Now I am at

half or some past half the way of getting high skills but I am

sick (health problems) and I am too not much happy with all the state my life is (mainly becouse this health problems) - but after all i am a programmer so if i got a time to spent i am just programming ;/ (though I am sometimes overvorked and I am not sure if i should do it and only that 200 hours a month, and maybe take some other time too )

I doubt my answer will help ;\

Yes, life questions are impossible to answer. Also taking in account that each life experience is unique and not necessarily applicable to other people. Sometimes I'm not sure what motivates me to write such posts on public, maybe the lack of confidence or the need to share.

I'm not going to criticize your approach. If it works for you its great!

It would't work for me. All I want is to invest my time, which is the most valuable thing I have in life, into something meaningful to me. To create something of my own. To be someone in this world.

I'm not necessarily talking about being a billionaire known to public. I don't care about the public. I don't want to be on TV, nor I want to be recognized on streets. I just want to know, that when I wake up in the morning and go to work, I'm doing this only because I want to, because I really and truly like what I'm going to do today.

By the way, Thank you a lot for the effort to help! I really appreciate this!

this is quite philosophical question, for example this assumption that there is good to be someone in this world may sound as a false, maybe it is ok to be no one? I can state instead that instead meaningfull i could find for some more healthy way of living that many do, i am much unhappy of this unhealthy stuff of living on this world (incidentally i am sick as i said so i feel this all trouble close)

- meaningfull is yet harder to find

- my OWN personal trouble is that i like two things 1) programming/coding 2) philosophy/ literature (got no time for both - but the health problems are the fcking the worst of all that)

Oh I like philosophy!

I'm not going to teach anyone how to live. As I stated earlier, everybody have their own experience and reasons to do what they do (its important however to understand those reasons and knowing why you are doing what you are doing). I'm talking about my self only. At current point in life, my philosophy tells me, that I should be someone in this world. Its unacceptable to me to be no one.

When I'm asked "what are you doing in life", I answer "I'm a web developer in traveling company", without any enthusiasm or passion. Its wrong! We spend at least 8 hours a day at work, its a very significant part of our lives. And I can not accept the fact having no passion and enthusiasm about what I do during this significant part of my life.

Seteve Jobs said:

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

When I ask my self the same question, my answer is No. But I don't know how and what to change.

There is a very great philosophy scholar (named W Tatarkiewicz) whose some works i incidentally know and this very often comes to my mind on such topics

if i could answer in his style (I imagine he could state) It would be like that: "are you talking about your LIFE or about your WORK?"

if you talking about LIFE it is a hard topic (personally I have a lot of trouble with managing my life and I am do it exceptionaly bad, also distaste it (this management) very much )

If you are talking about WORK then the thing is very easy: I am (many others to) just searching for quality this is quite clear to me - many coders can achieve quite good quality of their coding work

(for me this is very sad that work is connected with life, it may seem like black humor but work can at least partially give me satisfaction i am searching for (is quite interesting) but as to life i cannot imagine such life that would interest me (this is sadly probably because of boring life i am living last years, back then I remember the magic states of life that now are fully lost to me)

I'm not sure I understand you.

As I said earlier, my life is pretty comfortable. Of course there are things I'd like to improve and make better (in my understanding, you live as long as there is something you can improve and achieve). But they are not the issue, I'm satisfied with my life except one (well to be honest two, the second one is a normal, stable relationship with the opposite sex), which is work. I want to be self employed and do what I really like to do. The problem is that I'm not sure I know what is it that I really like to do, or, that I know what is it, but don't know how to turn it into business.

Alright. I was answering to more philosophical parts of the question.

You got quite different situation than my own: You are satisfied with your life state (I am quite not, my life looks like void) you do not know what to exactly do (I am the opposite, never any doubts what to do (*) )

On the work plane it is easy to me - take something interesting and learn it - if you will know it very good probably you could turn it into 'business'- Isn this kind of sufficient answer?

(*) it is in programming field, sometimes i wonder if i should lost

so many years on this

I though to my self, that all I need is a simple, fun game, with clean revenue of 10$ per copy and 100,000 copies, and Ill reach a goal of 1M$

The bar is set pretty high for a game that will sell in any sort of quantity for $10. Developing such a game solo is a monumental task. It requires a significant effort, which in turn requires significant motivation, nevermind the experience and skill that should exist to have even a reasonable chance of success. Coming up with a great idea for a game is the easiest part. Great ideas are in no short supply.

The simple truth is motivation is an essential element of becoming successfully self-employed. Maybe the most essential element (though by no means not the only one). Nobody can tell you where to find that motivation.

Of course being an employee, means that you have someone who manages you, your responsibilities, your time. I don't like that. As I said, I want to be independent.

I find this comment potentially revealing. There are certainly plenty of jobs where being an employee does mean being managed, but this is not universally true. While it is true that you will almost always have a manager at some level to report to, if you adequately self-manage, are pro-active, and take initiative, it's entirely possible to have a manager that really does no more than monitor your activities (if even that sometimes) and occasionally provide priority input. In most professional jobs, employees are typically only managed when they need to be (it isn't really efficient to do otherwise in most environments). There are always exceptions, and your employer may be one of them. I'm not trying to make any accusations, simply trying to provide some perspective.

And to be honest, I was one of those employees that needed to be managed for the first few years of employment out of college.

You do realise that if you run your own business, you won't be dependant of your one boss or a few bosses, bot lots of stupid customers. The way I see own businesses (especially in the first 5..15 years) it's working ALL the time. 10-12 hours or more a day, maybe on weekends etc. Fighting with customers, banks, rents etc.

I see no independence and freedom here.

For making a decent living with one, or just a few simple games requires enormous luck as I see it. It would be interesting to see what is the percentage of successful indies among all indies. Some games get caught up, and some just doesn't. The same seems to be truth for Kickstater too

As an employee with a usable profession, I can work 8 hours a day, forgot all about work when I step out of the office. Sure, I have limited number of off days, but I'm willing to pay that prize for having a lot of and calculable free time.

Whenever I feel that Steve Jobs thing, I quit the job. Spend a few weeks, or a few months as a jobless, then get a new job again.

I could always give good reasons to quit, so all of my quitting were peaceful and this frequent voluntary job switching wasn't hurtful when seeking jobs, especially nowadays, when it seems to be getting more and more common to frequently switch jobs.

Maybe it wouldn't be that easy as a programmer (I'm a mechanical engineer), but I wouldn't see that so impossible for a programmer either. As an amateur guy who just hacks sometimes, I rejected programming job offers.

Plus I agree with the above commenter, all three employee jobs I had in four years gave me plenty freedom. The last one even has flexible work-time (and I usually work less than 8 yours, and nobody bothers, as long as I do the job well). EDIT: I forgot about my second job, where there were times I didn't even had to go to work. It was a fun, interesting and a job with awesome perspectives. The only problem was that it couldn't pay my salary..... So I had to quit.

So it highly depends on the workplace and the job.

So: no real advice here, apart from maybe quitting your current job and trying another one. EDIT 1k: trying different things is waaay much easier as an employee than as with an own business. A business gets you tied for years , if you don't want to have tons of depth, and/or enemies. Even a dying business can agonize for years, and you can't just get out of it, because your (and maybe others') money lies in the stock, which nobody wants to buy from you.