Effect of game programmer status on females

Errors galore...

Quote:

Original post by torqueso Like Arwen and Bruce Willis in that movie with the asteroid.

The movie was Armaggedon. Her name is Liv Tyler (her father is Steven Tyler, of Aerosmith). That wasn't Bruce Willis; it was Ben Affleck.

Quote:

I've John Carmack (a huge personal idol of mine) is dating someone named Killcrick, which is apparently a girl, but I haven't confirmed this information.

It was John Romero who was dating Stevie "Killcreek" Case, and they're no longer an item.

(Girls like that, btw - a guy who knows celebrities and can fill them in on a reasonable amount of gossip. Wanna get your girlfriend to care about the football game? Tell her than Brian Urlacher was sort of dating Paris Hilton for a while.)

Girls really don't care what you do. They care who you are, how you come across, how ambitious you are, how successful you are. You can be a meat seller for all they care, but if you make 150k/yr doing it, they'll find a way to brag about it.

In summary, work on becoming an interesting, engaging, ambitious and successful person, no matter what it is you do.

Alas, the golden era of the 1970's is gone. Computer Science grad students once had to arm themselves with large clubs to fight off the hoardes of willing-to-please women that would throw themselves at their feet.

Lets be sensible here. It depends on how devoted you are to your job. Or rather, how devoted you are to programming.

I don't think this as a hobby or profession turns off the ladies, and it certainly doesn't turn most of them on.

But if you are too ate up in your work to spend time with them, they will leave your sorry ass, quick. I've experienced this way too many times.

What Oluseyi said, although there are also girls who will care more about you being funny or creative or compassionate than you being ambitious or successful. :P

Really, the problem is more likely to be that you won't know any girls, because you'll be surrounded by male CompSci students and then male co-workers. By default, your friends and acquaintances will be almost entirely guys. So you may have to put more effort into socializing outside of those circles.

Edit: What Jiia said, too. Do whatever hobbyist game development you want to do now, when you don't have a girlfriend.

Heh. It's all about generalizations here. Some women find the "big strong hero" archetype filled by firepersons and police officers particularly enticing, others prefer the "bad boy" archetype (which is more encompassed by attitude, not profession), some like the "sugar daddy" concept: "I don't care what you do so long as you're filthy stinking rich."

Most women are not shallow enough to decide that any person not fitting those or any other among scores of archetypes is not someone they want to be with.

If you're a programmer, that's fine. Most (but certainly not all) women won't consider that an immediate reason not to date you. Now, if you're a programmer who spends so much time at the computer you actually say "ROTFL" out loud instead of laughing; or have gained over half of your life experience through playing Everquest; or even if you consider your ratty old Babylon 5 t-shirt to be perfectly acceptable attire for a first date (certain bizarre circumstances excepted here), THAT is what will turn potential partners off... unless they happen to be just like that too.

If all your computer time has left you lacking in social graces, then it's time to shut off your computer and go out and learn how to function in the real world. You say you don't talk to women too much. There's a problem right there. Make friends with a few women (don't necessarily try to date them, just be friends) and it shouldn't take long to get at least some idea of HOW to properly interact with members of the opposite sex and you may end up making some of the best friends you'll ever have in the process.

Now, if women suddenly find they have to leave every time you come near, you have to either find more tolerant women or figure out what's really going on.

Remember, unless you're working for a big company during crunch time or a student with a huge assignment due in three days, programming isn't a lifestyle; it's a hobby and/or a career, and don't let it be anything more.

-Auron

P.S. - If you're wondering HOW to go about finding women to meet, try getting involved in some not-so male dominated activities. If you're a student still, join a co-ed intramural team or a club that interests you and would seem likely to have a fairly even gender ratio in it. Or take a class you know has women in it as an elective. If you're not a student any more, a lot of the same still applies. And make sure that wherever you go to try and meet women, make sure you actually want to be there. Don't enroll in a drama class to meet women if you hate acting. I've known people to do that sort of thing and it only ends up a waste of everyone's time in the end.

Why isnt this in the lounge?

Why don't you work a couple years for a good salary and then buy a sports car and some hot clothes? That should work on the kind of women you seem to be concerned about...

By the way, the best place to meet women is at the grocery store. You get to see them in sweat pants with no makeup, and you can learn a lot about a person by what they eat.

I don't think programming is the kind of job you get into for the girls.

Your wrong, John Carmack has been married for quite some time now.

What!? You don't "converse with females"??? Youre one sad little nerd i bet >:)

hmmm you do realise you've just implied that the people on this board don't have much human contact, and are "dwellers" as in people who live in usually dark places, ie. basements...

and then you suggest John Carmack is a homosexual!!??? How dare you offend my god >:(

Quote:

Original post by torqueso ...John Carmack is very famous, and quite "hip" if you ask me.

He's famous to geeks,and only an uber-uber-geek could find him "hip".Anyway,as someone here said,you don't get into programming for the ladies,but that doesn't mean it's a disadvantage.We're programmers because we like it.That already puts us above the 90% of the population who is stuck in a boring,dead-end job that they hate.Ok,an austronaut may well be the most exciting profession of all,but how many are out there?As for cops or firemen,in my experience many of them are stupid(mostly the cops) and only bimbos want to be with stupid men.And again,how many of them that fill the "strong hero" archetype are out there?Does that mean that everybody else can't have girlfriend(s)?Please.
And for the record,where is it written that a programmer should always be a skinny,pale,spotty nerd?He could be a programmer and also have other hobbies,like sports for example.
So,quit the excuses "I can't have a girlfriend because I'm a programmer".It's pure bullshit.Girls like guys that are good in what they're do.And of course they like smart guys.Just as long as you're not a geek that goes around and talks about programming and games all day long.I'm a hardcore programmer,and even I hate guys like that,who think that everyone should be interested in pointers and arrays and consider "ROFL" cool.Programming is a proffession or a hobby,it doesn't have to define who you are.You can do your coding when you're alone,but when hanging out with friends or your girlfriend,you must be able to do other fun things.

Profession really isn't all that important.

If you're a confident charismatic guy, with some reasonable good looks, women will be interested in you whether you're a programmer or a fireman.

If you're an anti-social geek with numerous insecurities, you'll have problems with women whether you're a programmer or a fireman.

That isn't to say profession doesn't matter, just that it's secondary to many other attributes. All things being equal, women are more interested in men with "exciting" jobs. Programming is not really considered "exciting" unless you're a "hacker" or something... game programmers can be cool for some particularly nerdy cliques of women--so seek those out.

Personally, I've never had a problem with the ladies. Just try to be a fun cool guy to be with first, and then after she likes you, tell her what you do for a living... it usually won't change anything.

And you might not want to tailor your whole life so that girls will like you! I am an aspiring writer and would not reduce the ammount of time I write for the sake of a girl. If she can't stand me writing, then she had better get the hell out of my life ;) Be a man for crying out loud! :)

Actually, Bruce Willis was THE star of Armaggeddon

Yeah, but he was "Arwen"'s dad!

You're a sick man ;p

shmoove

I'll fight a troll with good avice :-)

I've found relations to work better when:

1) you focus on the interests of the other person

2) you're genuinely interested in the person

3) you respect the other person and

4) you have a desire to make time for the person

5) you're not an idiot (i e, pace things appropriately, etc)

Your occupation, salary, hair color, or even weight probably won't matter much if you solve the top 5. Looks might be a great in-road to be able to show off your prowess at the top 5, but that's all it does -- there's no staying power.

When I say to a girl that I studied in Computer Science, I can get 3 classical answers:

1) She dont like computers and will freak out and go
2) She have a computer and will ask me to repair her's
3) She dont know about computers and will say something like "Ho well, thats the future"

...

So before she has time to think, I quickly add that I am working on designing new tools for the movies industry. Now her attention is not so on "computer" and more on "movies industry".

...

But I dont think you become a programmer for the girls. If you are sucessful, the money will help, yet thats not what I like. I just went lazy and I date a co-worker lol

Out of all the movies to base attraction on, you picked Armeggedon? The one where NASA builds two shuttles in no time and sends offshore oil drillers to nuke an asteroid? Not very realistic. Also, Liv Tyler fell in love will an oil driller in that movie, not an astronaut. You'd have a better chance of picking up a girl teller her you program computers than drilling for oil.

That being said, women's desire for a man in uniform is more of a fetish, the same way some men prefer blondes to brunettes. Some women prefer a man in uniform, but will see other men, and most really don't care.

Just to repeat what others have said, women are attracted to confidence and personality. Being attractive and/or muscular doesn't hurt either. If you never approach any women, you lose out on the confidence portion, and if all you ever talk about is computers, you lose out in the personality department. Doing something you are interesting in is the best way to meet someone. They'll be easier to talk to since you'll be around them all the time, and you'll have something to talk about, since your doing something they are interested in. Also, when you do talk to them, it will seem like small talk instead of "trying to pick up", which is a turn off.

Well,a disadvantage of being a programmer is that you can't really talk about your job.An architect can talk about the new building he's making,a doctor can talk about a patient he saved.But noone will be interested in hearing a programmer talk about how he debugged his program,and that's normal.That's not to say programmers are doomed,it's just that we must have other interests too,so we can begin interesting conversations.

Yeah man, uhm, you should never ever ever ever ever pick ANY job to look cool. To anyone. Ever. (Sorry about the grammar, I think it sounded more like I would have spoken :))

I am 22, I've been with a girl for 4 years, and before that I can't say I was phneomenally successful with "the ladies" but I certainly think that there are those who have done worse. I have a degree in computer science and a degree in applied mathematics. My girlfriend thinks I am smart, but that isn't why she is with me, I'm pretty sure. To be attractive to a girl, you have to be a good person, interesting to her. She isn't into computers or mathematics AT ALL, so you know, common interest really isn't required.

Most of my friends don't have girlfriends. They don't even TRY though, and then they complain and moan about it. I find that usually it is because they spend their time trying to cover up their "needs" with "oh who has time for a girl", and that sort of thing.

Don't pay attention to media images anyway, man. They won't get you anywhere at all. In fact, if you just look at the media images present, THOSE "relationships" don't even work out. Not something you'd want to base your life on, no siree :)

Heh.
Good luck mate.