Original Post
Summer of 2008, it ain't. The summer of 2008 was spectacular, as far as its blockbusters were concerned. Starting with Iron Man, it was a continuous string of thoroughly enjoyable films all the way up to Tropic Thunder. (Well, except for Wanted. Wanted sucked.) The weakest of the bunch was Hancock, which would easily have been the second or third best movie of this summer. This summer, in contrast, has featured a succession of features that I went to the theaters for and left thinking I could have safely skipped them. Wolverine: X-Men Origins. Terminator Salvation. The Hangover was funny, but it was also uneven, and it's best "joke" was a single picture during the credits. (Tyson, the documentary on Mike Tyson, was spectacular, but didn't seem to find large audiences at all. Also, Up was made of Wonderful.) The films of this summer have been so lackluster that I haven't been able to muster the will to review them. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen doesn't reverse or halt this trend. No, it worsens it. I initially had high hopes for this film given the skepticism with which I had approached its predecessor, so much so that I titled my Transformers review the "Michael Bay Apology Thread." Well, he finally lived down to my expectations. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is aimless, uneven, empty, shallow and barely fun. And we shall discuss why. There be spoilers ahead. If knowing something about a film before you watch it "ruins it" for you, please grow up - but until you do, go away. Too Many Characters A core decision made with the first Transformers movie was to introduce more humans that the film would essentially revolve around, ostensibly so that audiences would find characters to empathize with. It's a cop out, of course: competent film makers can make audiences empathize with an animated lamp, simply by rendering a comprehensive characterization. But, whatever, the first film was fun. This second film, however, adds even more characters - more sidekicks, more short-lived enemies, more "comic relief"... It all becomes something of a mess, and the film spends too long in its early parts jumping around to keep you up to speed on too many parallel plot threads, with the predictable result that the film is too long and too many characters are too flat. Too Many Side-Plots Did we really need the asshole National Security Advisor coming down to the base the Autobots operated at, throwing his weight around and leaking confidential information in the most obvious way possible. (Seriously? If two parties are discussing a sensitive subject, even via a "secure" line, would they rehash the complete history of the subject, including all locations and call signs?) Later, he shuts the whole operation down... except they immediately reroute to a location he hasn't approved, and throw him off the plane to boot. Too Many Plot Holes and Inconsistencies Even the throwaway scenes didn't make sense: in one sequence Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBouf) is embarrassed in class, then later his face is broadcast on all networks as the Decepticons demand to know his location, but at the end of the film he returns to class and nobody says anything about this? Really? Nobody in his school watched television or surfed the web while the planet was under attack, or after the threat was contained? And Bumblebee's vocal units still aren't fixed?! Even after he touched the AllSpark? Too Much "ShakyCam™" Much has been made in visual arts/effects trade magazines of Michael Bay insisting there be no mass displacement (for the uninitiated, the Transformers of the comics and cartoons could not only change shape but also their apparent mass; in fact, this edict has been cited as the reason why Optimus Prime was changed into a Peterbilt truck), and on how ever piece of the transformers was accurately modeled and a transformation worked out. So how come every time a transformation occurs, the camera starts swirling all over the place? Further, action scenes degenerated into a vague sensation of "fighting." The camera lurched, stuttered, trembled and swung violently all over the place, as if these giant robots were pummeling your head rather than each other. Look, I'm all for a tasteful use of camera shake added in post to convey the concussive force of a digital explosion effect, but this is ridiculous. Too Much (Bad) Fanservice After misusing the name Devastator in the first film, we get a "real" Devastator - a combiner made up of what look to be the Constructicons. We get Jetfire, too - in the G1 cartoon he was named Skyfire, and was the Decepticon who switch allegiance to the Autobots, which he did in this film as well. We get the Matrix of Leadership, though it isn't identified as an Autobot talisman and is the wrong shape, and then it is apparently destroyed... We also get a mention of Energon, but now with a ridiculous origin that sets up a "high stakes" situation for this film but makes no sense in the context of pretty much all prior Transformers media. Too Much Stereotyping Two Autobots, the twins Skidz and Mudflap, are quite minstrel-like. Skidz has buck teeth, one of them gold (with the Autobot insignia on it). They refer to having to "put the hip hop" into what they do, confess to not being able to read, and speak in urban slang with casual profanity. Why? They had some funny lines, but I felt quite uncomfortable in a lot of scenes as their characterization made me cringe. Too Much Narration The film starts with a lengthy voiceover by Optimus Prime that violates the "show, don't tell" rule, and it ends on an equally tedious note. Narration is fine if there is some inner aspect of the character that is essential knowledge for the viewer, or in noir and noir-ish features where it establishes the irredeemable past (note that voiceovers in noir films typically are by the protagonist in deep trouble at the end of the narrative and recounting how he came to be in that position). The script is just lazy in parts, doing nothing to strengthen the film. Too Much Movie The bottom line is, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is about an hour too long, causing it to go from "this is kind of fun" to "when the hell is this damn thing going to end." Verdict: Skip it. Wait till it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray.
