Smartphones/facebook - gone too far?

Have you noticed this too? Does it annoy you?

I have noticed this as well -- particularly amongst younger people -- but it's pretty minimal amongst my own close social circle. It isn't overly annoying for me given how rarely it happens with my own friends, but I can imagine it could be quite bad if it was a regular occurrence.

How can this be happening?

People are often quite self-absorbed, and social media has presented them with a platform to express that. In cases where I've seen this happen it seems that people often genuinely don't realise they're doing it or how much of a problem it can be. The fact that the technology for it is so good now probably also helps -- you can take a high-quality photo and have it publicly available online at a moment's notice from almost anywhere.

Are you doing it yourself? Why?

No. If I do need to use my phone in a social situation I keep it to a minimum and ensure I spend the majority of time actually interacting. Where possible I wait till later rather than using my phone at the time.

Is there anything that can be done?

Have you mentioned the problem to your friends? They may simply be unaware of what they're doing and might make more of an effort if it's brought to their attention.

If that doesn't work you might need a different, more conscientious social circle.

Barring that, I've heard of people making it a rule when out for dinner that all of the mobile phones go face-down in the middle of the table, and the first to pick one up has to pay for everyone's meals; you could try suggesting a rule similar to that.

As for solving the "problem" on a larger scale than your own friendship group... is it really a major problem for you at all? It shouldn't matter that the majority are less attentive if your own social circle aren't a part of the problem.

I checked the date. No, this thread has not been resurrected from 5 years ago.

And I suppose that is saddest of all.

Each new year, the Language Council of Sweden publish a list of "new words" that came into use during the year.

This year, one of them is "mobilzombie", translating to "smartphone zombie"...

I'm guilty of having checked my phone at the dinner table too, though at least I am aware it's rude, and I try to keep it brief and under the table.

Ignorant rude people find new ways to be ignorant and rude. In other news, the sky is blue...

Yes, I have noticed this for the past 3 years. I guess I have to thank my gf that I didn't end up following the trend. She would get angry if I ignore her at a restaurant. I don't check facebook, but I do check emails, and browse the web, or play games.

It didn't feel like talking to a person, just a statue.

People also love to take pictures of their food. Don't understand why.

The social network has altered the very essence of the way we interact with people, and the way we see the world. What is our source of information now?

"10 places you need to visit before you die?"

"30 things cute dogs do. Number 10 is especially cute?"

For a moment just a couple of days ago, I had a flash of just how life was like before this whole social networking, reddit, twitter, exploded. It was different, and it wasn't too long ago either, just the year of 2008. I had a J2ME clamshell phone that time, take pictures in 640x480, 250 texts/month.

This is such a new a-scocial "problem" ... * sigh *

This is such a new a-scocial "problem" ... * sigh *

Wow, that diner sure is crowded. Not even room for tables.

Unless of course it is a subway car, in which case it's not depicting a social problem at all. Consider what would happen in that picture if even one of the commuters started looking the others in the eye and talking to them intensely.

I do feel sad and annoyed when everyone is out as a group and then all they do is use their phones. Actually my family take it to the next level, they sometimes chat in facebook/whatsup while sitting on the same table!

I thought I didn't have the same habit because I notice it everywhere as a negative thing until I dated a woman who was absolutely against checking phones during dates/outings even if you're waiting for an important email (no exceptions). I noticed I'm not totally innocent after all and later on it actually caused a few arguments between us. Ironically she had the habit of taking way too many photos of everything when we are out and later on even during dates which kinda rubbed me wrong the same way.

This could have been the reason why we broke up I kid you not!

Is there anything that can be done?

When I see people I care about completely absorbed in their phones and oblivious to what's going on around them I feel sorry for them. I am also angry at social networks. they perfected a vicious cycle of social addiction that mainstream users are very vulnerable to and they don't seem to care about the negative effects of their services. There should be something like the warning a few good console games give you when you play continuously for a long time: "You've been using facebook for 4 hours. Please consider taking a 1 hour rest to try to remember how to be human again."

I've done it to intentionally be rude at gatherings I didn't want to be at. I turn the ringer and vibrate off when I'm with people I actually like. I can ignore checking to see if a message exists, but if a message exists it's extremely hard for me to ignore it.

I found myself doing this, so I went cold turkey and uninstalled the Facebook app from my phone. I now visit Facebook for 5 minutes a month or less when I am pressured to e.g. To manage work's Facebook page. Not looking back either, i don't miss it one bit...

No, it's simply the free market giving people the option to do what they want.

Also, I've never owned a single social media account, and never will, so it's clearly an optional activity.

I much prefer browsing the internet to talking to people mainly. I personally find social situations far easier to deal with these days, where everyone is only half present. Suits me fine.

Work mobility means I spend more physical time with people than I would have done, with less forced small talk and stress.

Guess I'm an example of what everyone thinks is rude and wrong with the world but there you are.

Anyways, I find this behavior rude and annoying.

And many introverts find it highly rude and annoying with extroverts expect everyone to act like extroverts.

If there is an engaging conversation going on, I've found that most people will remain engaged in it. When conversation becomes boring and people run out of things to talk about? Out come the phones till someone finds something interesting to share and conversation resumes.

If you often find yourself surrounded by people who don't want to engage with you in conversation... Maybe you should try providing a higher quality conversation rather than blaming them and getting mad.

Anyways, I find this behavior rude and annoying.

And many introverts find it highly rude and annoying with extroverts expect everyone to act like extroverts.

If there is an engaging conversation going on, I've found that most people will remain engaged in it. When conversation becomes boring and people run out of things to talk about? Out come the phones till someone finds something interesting to share and conversation resumes.

If you often find yourself surrounded by people who don't want to engage with you in conversation... Maybe you should try providing a higher quality conversation rather than blaming them and getting mad.

Introvert is not the same thing as being socially inept. Have you checked to see if you have Asperger's?

I'm an introvert, and I also find it irritating, but occasionally do it myself if I get a text message - quickly glancing at it. I find that most things which annoy me are things I myself do in some form or another. Have you considered whether you're really getting annoyed that people are (unintentionally) ignoring you, and whether you do the same thing? Random thought.

When I'm with people I really enjoy, and conversation is going on that's really enjoyable to participate in or just listen to, I'm engaged in that conversation.

If superficial conversation is going on, I want to check out of it and do other things.

Sometimes someone engages me in conversation, and I'm really engaged in something already (programming or reading or whatever). I want to get back to what is more interesting to me (even if their conversation topic is interesting), but I try to stay in the conversation, because I try to consciously tell myself that my relationship with the person is more important than my relationship with the computer.

I do this by turning off my monitor (not the entire computer), rotating to face them, and making eye contact frequently enough to let them know I'm listening.

Usually, anyway. Sometimes I just get dismissive and focus on the computer while they are trying to talk to me.

As an aside, one stereotype with the Amish religious group is that they don't use electricity or phones. This isn't necessarily true across the board for every Amish groups. I've heard that some allow phones, but have them as phone booths outside the physical house, so that the phone ringing doesn't hinder the much more important social fellowshipping, and so making a phonecall is an actual physical inconvenience.

If in a conversation I'd also take a quick glance at my phone if I'm expecting something important, maybe even excuse myself if the one I'm talking to isn't someone I know very well.

But burying your nose into your phone while in a conversation isn't my definition of manners. Blaming it on being introvert sounds like a bad excuse to me.

There is two sides to this, its just socially more accepted to blame introverts.

To show the backside of the coin (sorry for being blunt, but the thread already started very bluntly): Extroverts are just shallow people, who gain perceived self-worth by counting how long other people pretend to listen and reply to their superficial irrelevant smalltalk. They never care or notice if those other people are just doing this out of courtesy, then try to bully them into continuing by calling them rude and socially inept, when they are the ones being rude by putting their needs above others.

That goes so far that probably most people are just pretending to be extrovert and the few real extroverts are just disillusioned into assuming they were in the majority. As can be seen from people using public transport and the many people looking into their phones, most are not and just pretend when around people they care deeply enough for. Only about 1 in 100 times you use a bus/train there is a single rude person out of the many using the bus/train trying to force others into talking to them.

In short, extroverts care for quantity of conversation, introverts care for quality of conversation.

I've done it to intentionally be rude at gatherings I didn't want to be at. I turn the ringer and vibrate off when I'm with people I actually like. I can ignore checking to see if a message exists, but if a message exists it's extremely hard for me to ignore it.

How is this working out for you? What do you get out of being intentionally rude except the questionable pleasure of being seen as the grumpy guy?

There is two sides to this, its just socially more accepted to blame introverts.

To show the backside of the coin (sorry for being blunt, but the thread already started very bluntly): Extroverts are just shallow people, who gain perceived self-worth by counting how long other people pretend to listen and reply to their superficial irrelevant smalltalk. They never care or notice if those other people are just doing this out of courtesy, then try to bully them into continuing by calling them rude and socially inept, when they are the ones being rude by putting their needs above others.

That goes so far that probably most people are just pretending to be extrovert and the few real extroverts are just disillusioned into assuming they were in the majority. As can be seen from people using public transport and the many people looking into their phones, most are not and just pretend when around people they care deeply enough for. Only about 1 in 100 times you use a bus/train there is a single rude person out of the many using the bus/train trying to force others into talking to them.

In short, extroverts care for quantity of conversation, introverts care for quality of conversation.

Introversion/extroversion has nothing to do with how sociable, shallow or shy you are or not.

Introverts charge their batteries with time alone. Extroverts charge their batteries by being around other people. That is all.